Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In our societies and cultures, childen are often brought up by the saying that nothing in this word is impossible. Parents mostly do this thing so that their children may not loose interest in studies. Children are often easy to shape. Parents want their children to be successful.To some extent, this thing can prove beneficial. It helps student to define their paths in fixed directions. By this, children setup their goals and ambitions and then strive as hard as they can do to attain their achievements. This thing leads to the arousal of curiosity and passion among offsprings so that they would be able to live a life full of purposes. But sometimes,it can prove fatal in certain regards. Various things in this world can't be achieved even by putting strenous efforts.Probably because they are not wriiten in fate. So that's idea of hardwork can divert the brain of children in some other way. For example ,if a student works hard to pass the examination but still he fails it due to some other cicumstances,then this feeling can create a feeling of disappointment in him. Sometimes we continue to fail even after much hardwork and many tries. Therefore, I think that students or childen should be broufht up in a way that may not harm their mental well-being when they do not get success.Overall, this thing has more benefits than disadvantages because it gives hopes,directions and goals to children. Even if they fail in some efforts ,they may look for something else,some other target to achieve.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: the message can motivate children, but may also cause disappointment when effort does not lead to success. The benefits are supported with relevant outcomes such as setting goals, developing curiosity and pursuing ambitions. The example of a student failing an examination despite working hard also makes the disadvantage concrete. However, some points are less fully explained: for instance, the claim that the message can “divert the brain” is unclear, and the conclusion’s suggestion that children can simply choose another target is not reconciled with the risk to their well-being. Explain more precisely how adults can encourage effort while acknowledging limits and setbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The ideas follow a broadly sensible order: the introduction presents the message, the main discussion covers benefits and drawbacks, and the final sentences state an overall judgement. Linking expressions such as “To some extent,” “But sometimes,” “For example,” and “Therefore” help signal these stages. However, the response is presented as one continuous paragraph, so the shift from advantages to disadvantages and then to the conclusion is not visually clear. Some links are also mechanical or imprecise, particularly repeated uses of “this thing” and “So that’s idea.” Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each side of the discussion, and the conclusion, and make references explicit so readers can follow the argument without having to infer what “this” means.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “goals and ambitions,” “curiosity and passion,” “disappointment,” and “mental well-being.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and there is an attempt to use less common expressions such as “strive” and “offsprings.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “define their paths in fixed directions,” “arousal of curiosity,” and “divert the brain.” Spelling errors such as “childen,” “loose,” “strenous,” and “wriiten” are also noticeable. Aim for more natural topic-specific phrasing and check spelling carefully; precise vocabulary will make the argument easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if a student works hard” and a concluding sentence with “Even if they fail.” Most of the intended meaning can be understood, but control is uneven. Some sentences have faulty or incomplete structures, such as “Probably because they are not wriiten in fate,” which is a fragment, and “so that they would be able to live a life full of purposes,” where the relationship between ideas is awkwardly constructed. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, especially around commas and sentence boundaries. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and review clause structure and punctuation so complex ideas remain accurate.

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