Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There are different cultures around the world.In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything in their lives if they work very hard .It has many advantages and harms of giving these messages. Children can be taught any thing in their initial stages thats why it is said that brought up children in their early stages in a positive way because what they have learnt in their early stages will reflect their future and will have great impact on it. Therefore giving this message to children is very beneficial because they will set their goals of life and will work hard to achieve their goals.They will do more hard work and it will also help them to make their name and earn fame.They will work hard day and night which will help to better the economy of their country.They will get better jobs and will become successful person of their society.Some of the children have goals to become doctor,engineer,pilot,scientist buisiness man,computer scientist etc.They can achieve their goal if they work hard from initial stage.This will help make their country more developed. Such successful persons can become financially strong.This message help children that they should not waste their precious time in useless activities.There are only few disadvantages of this message.There are some children who overload them with alot of work and ruin their mental and physical health.When they are mentally and physically ill they cannot perform their tasks appropriately.They often think that sports are totally useless for them because it is fully wastege of time so they do not engage themselves in healthy activities like playing sports and games.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the question: it explains that the message may encourage goal-setting, effort and future success, then notes risks to children’s health and reduced participation in sport. These are relevant points, but the discussion is uneven and several claims are asserted rather than explained. For example, the link between hard work and “better[ing] the economy” or making a country “more developed” is not clearly connected to the effects on children. The disadvantage about overwork is more directly relevant, but would benefit from a specific explanation of how unrealistic expectations can affect a child. Develop each advantage and disadvantage with clearer reasoning and examples, and make the overall position more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The ideas are generally related to the topic, and the response moves from possible benefits to disadvantages. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader has little help distinguishing the main points or following their development. Linking words such as “Therefore” and “because” are used, but connections are sometimes repetitive or unclear; for instance, the sequence from setting goals to fame, the economy and national development reads like a list rather than a developed argument. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages and conclusion. Within each paragraph, group related ideas and use clear referencing and transitions so that each point follows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, with relevant terms such as “goals,” “successful,” and “mental and physical health.” However, the range is limited and some word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which makes parts of the argument less natural. Phrases such as “do more hard work,” “make their name and earn fame,” and “fully wastege of time” do not express the ideas idiomatically; spelling errors such as “buisiness” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling. For example, describe children as “working diligently,” say they may “gain recognition,” and explain that they might regard sport as “a waste of time.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentences using “because,” “therefore” and “when,” but most structures are simple or joined into long, loosely controlled sentences. Errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms occur frequently enough to make the writing less clear. For example, “This message help children” needs subject–verb agreement, while “will become successful person” needs an article. The opening also runs sentences together, and punctuation is inconsistent. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate subordinate clauses. Check each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct articles and agreement, and use full stops to prevent several separate claims from becoming one sentence.

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