Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough and do hardwork to achieve something in life. There are many ros and cons that I will discuss it in this eassy.

Firsly, some children told if they achieve anything in life try hard and many children when they go to school every children have a dream to get a good grades so he started doing hardwork on study and learn everything to achieve a good grades. Mostly some parents advise their kids to work hard on studies and gives them an examples to do hard.

Secondly, in some cultures the base of their children develop to do work by their own and not depend on anyone so their mindset set on do anything by their own effort. This is the advantages.

The disadvantage is children in little age were not so mature and they dont have enough capacity to work hard and many parents force their children to do hardwork even the children dont know how to do it. This is very sad because children learn every thing in his little age but force to do hardwork is injustice according to his life.

Some children mindset was trained to achieve something in life and it does not matter where the money was come from it is a legal way or illegal way. In future the children faces problem if he had in his mind to only achieve anything. Thats create a problem for children and aslo parents because the children was in trouble parents also.

In conclusion, the pros of advise to do hardwork is good for children but the way he was doing is correct not wrong.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and the examples about studying hard, becoming independent, and being pressured by parents are relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only partial: the advantages are mostly repeated as working hard or relying on one’s own effort, while the disadvantages introduce pressure and possible illegal behaviour without explaining these outcomes clearly. The conclusion says hard work is beneficial if pursued correctly, but this position is not fully established or consistently developed in the body. To strengthen the response, explain how the message can build confidence and persistence, then balance this against the risk of unrealistic expectations or self-blame when children face limits. The 17 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, points about advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and some links are unclear: the move from children’s independence to “This is the advantages” does not explain the connection, while the paragraph about illegal ways of achieving success is difficult to follow. Repeated references to “hardwork” also make the discussion feel circular. Give each paragraph one clear main idea, develop it with a specific explanation or example, and use pronouns and linking phrases that make relationships between ideas explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “achieve,” “effort,” “mindset,” and “force,” so the general topic remains understandable. However, vocabulary is limited and repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “hardwork,” “children,” and “achieve.” Several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “a good grades,” “do hard,” and “the base of their children develop.” Spelling errors including “eassy,” “Firsly,” and “aslo” also reduce accuracy. Build a more varied set of expressions for the topic and check collocations: for example, children can “work diligently,” “develop perseverance,” or “face pressure to succeed.” More precise wording would help distinguish the benefits from the risks.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to express cause and contrast, but the range is limited and errors are frequent enough to make several sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “some children told if they achieve anything in life try hard” lacks a clear subject and grammatical structure, while “Mostly some parents advise their kids to work hard on studies and gives them an examples” has agreement and article/plural problems. Tense and agreement are also inconsistent in “the children faces problem” and “the children was in trouble.” Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and consistent tense. Shorter, accurate sentences would improve clarity before you attempt more complex ones.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.