Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

yes it is true that children are told by elders to work hard so you can achive anything you want .but this is not true that children are told my elders in some culture.in almost every part of world this is true that we get anything we want if we struggle hard to get that thing.in Holy Quran,this is also saying that a man can achieve that thing if he struggle for that thjings .so there are many advantages but also disadvantages.it also depends upon the interest of the people for which field they are struggling.but if a child is interested in that field and cannot getting according to its thoughts.he feeling shame and thoughjtv that he fails but we have to motivate him to struggle because we cannot get anything without struggling there is also a phrase that hardwork is a key to success..we have to told our children that you does not have to ashamed that you are struggling anfd using more efforts to get that things we have to told our children about that quote hardwork is a key to success.we have to give the example of usian bolt an olympian athletics. he runs a 100 meter race and win a gold medal only in 9 seconds and make a world record.he often say that people only see my 100 meter race but cannot see my four years of struggle.but there is also a disadvantage that all people think that we struggled hard and get that thing.but this is not true because there is also a condition that we have to struggle for that field or thing that we know and interested in that field.for example,if a person wants to make tea but he does not know about how to make tea and he struggles and does not make a tea . he aslo have to klnow about the steps how to make tea.because we have to told the childrens to struggle and know about everthing in his field then his efforts bore fruits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages, and its main position is that effort should be encouraged but paired with knowledge and a suitable area of interest. The Usain Bolt example supports the value of persistence, while the tea-making example illustrates that effort alone may not be enough. However, these ideas are not consistently explained: the disadvantages are introduced late and remain narrow, and the discussion sometimes shifts into general claims about struggle rather than examining the message children receive. The opening also repeats the prompt’s claim before clarifying the writer’s view. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how this message can build confidence and resilience, and how it can create disappointment or self-blame when success depends on factors beyond effort.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable line of thought: the response moves from encouraging effort, to an example of persistence, and then to the limitation that effort needs knowledge and interest. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, so the reader must work to distinguish the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Linking words such as “but,” “because,” and “so” recur frequently and sometimes join several different points in one long sentence. The repeated statements about telling children that hard work is important also interrupt progression. Use separate paragraphs for the two sides, give each paragraph one main point, and use clearer referencing and transitions to show how each example supports that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a basic but relevant range, including “struggle,” “motivate,” “disadvantage,” “interested,” and “world record.” These words help communicate the central ideas, and the examples make the topic understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “struggle” and “thing,” and several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “according to its thoughts” and “his efforts bore fruits.” Spelling errors, including “achive,” “thjings,” and “klnow,” also make reading less smooth. Build a more precise set of expressions for persistence, achievement, and setbacks, and check spelling and collocations so that the intended meaning is consistently clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses clauses with “because,” “if,” and “that,” showing an effort to express relationships between ideas. However, these complex attempts are often faulty, and sentence boundaries are frequently unclear. Examples include “if he struggle,” “we have to told our children,” and “he feeling shame”; these show problems with verb forms and sentence construction. Agreement and pronoun use are also inconsistent, as in “a child … its thoughts” and “his efforts.” Capitalisation and punctuation are weak, with many sentences joined by full stops or commas without clear control. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with one clear main clause and correctly formed subordinate clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.