Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In these days, children are mostly advised that they can get everything if the do effort for attaing it enough. It is widely believed that this trend has become increasingly significant in all over the modern societies accross the globe. While there are multiple pros of advising then inculding giving them sense of responsibility, builfding their behaviour to face hardships of life and self dependency, certain drawback could not be ignored. This essay will discuss bothe pros and cons providing children this advise which groom and effect their personality.

To inspect with the first paramount advantage of adviding pupils for hard work is to bulding a sense of responsibilty amoung the young child age between 10 too 25 years. For instance, if a student work hard to manage hi own expeditures or basic need this will build confidence in student. As a result children could become self independent and live their life according to their own interest. Additionally, children get new experiences from daily life and by getting some experties he could thing and judge this more effectively. For example,, when students work in shop he could judge how to judge people attitudes. This may lead to character building and developemnt of emotions will improve.

On the other hand, tolding individuals of early age about the hard working to get anything could detrack them from education. For exampl, when children prefer to work than education this could badely effect their educationa nd learning. This may lead to child labour which is consider as a illegal concept in our nation. Finally, this could cause serious health problem in chidren. For exampe when child of prmary age work to fulfil his need, he could get any injury, back pain, fatique which could put bad impact on child health. This may result in serious disease like nacrosis, postre problem.

At a glance, although there are imperitive benefits of hard working at early age but certain deawback could effect his health which have crucial importance in human life. According to my personal prospective, cons outweigh the pros of doing work. However, without disturbing student academic outcome it better to teach them skills in school and motivate them for ideal goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. The discussion of responsibility and confidence is relevant, as is the warning that work may interfere with education and harm children’s health. However, some ideas are not fully developed or are only loosely connected to the prompt. For example, the claim that children aged “10 too 25 years” gain responsibility through managing expenses needs a clearer link to the message that effort can achieve anything. The examples of working in a shop and possible injuries also focus on children working, rather than explaining how the message itself might encourage unrealistic expectations or resilience. Develop each point with a direct explanation of this connection.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Additionally,” “On the other hand,” and “Finally” helps readers follow the main direction, and the position is restated at the end. This coherent arrangement meets the core expectations, while the progression within paragraphs is sometimes less clear. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from responsibility to self-reliance, then experience and judging people, without consistently showing how each point supports the central argument. Some linking phrases, including “As a result” and “This may lead to,” are used mechanically or connect ideas whose relationship is not fully explained. Use clearer topic sentences and make each example explicitly support its point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “responsibility,” “self independent,” “character building,” “child labour,” and “academic outcome.” These choices show an effort to discuss consequences and personal development, but inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “do effort,” “advising then,” “tolding individuals,” and “nacrosis, postre problem.” Some expressions also do not convey the intended idea precisely, such as “judge how to judge people attitudes.” Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms; prefer clear, familiar phrasing when unsure rather than attempting an unnatural expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including conditional clauses such as “if a student work hard” and subordinate clauses beginning “when” and “although.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, control is uneven: errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur and can make several sentences hard to interpret. For example, “if a student work hard to manage hi own expeditures” needs a correctly formed verb and possessive, while “when students work in shop he could judge” shifts between plural and singular reference. The final sentence, “it better to teach them skills,” is also missing a verb. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence patterns, then proofread for punctuation and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.