Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals believe that anything can be achived by hardwork, but other audience have a different opinion. Mind is developed at a young age. Children in some cultures are often introduced to a thinking that success comes from hardwork. I will discuss both, benefits and drawbacks of this saying.

Young generation of the society holds a major stake in the future. Parents often tell their children to work hard as it is beneficial to them. Hardwork keeps you on a track, and in this case children from a young age specially, when they are in school learn to work hard in studies to get good grades. Leisure work makes a person lazy this is another reason why young generation is motivated to give their best. Hardwork eventually leads to better time management and acquiring this skill from a young age is a valuable achievement that improves many factors later in life.

As much as working hard is important it has some setbacks as well. In a childrens life, Pressure from parents and society at a young age over exhausts the kid. When repeatedly exposed to this saying "hardwork lets you achieve anything", but sometimes the outcome is something else. This leads to depressing an individual later in life and make them question the sayings of their elders.

Young generations in some parts of the world tend to believe hardwork is the route to success. Some factors supports this claim while others differ. Learning to work hard in life is important but should be in a certain limit to not over burden an individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children that hard work leads to success, and your position—that effort is valuable but should have limits—is clearest in the conclusion. The benefits paragraph gives relevant points about study habits and time management, while the drawback paragraph identifies pressure and disappointment when results do not match expectations. However, the discussion only partly answers the specific claim that children can achieve anything: the essay mainly discusses hard work in general, without explaining how this absolute message may create unrealistic expectations or how children could be taught a more balanced view. Several points, such as “Leisure work makes a person lazy,” are asserted rather than explained. Develop each side with clearer examples and consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a concluding position. This makes the overall direction understandable, and phrases such as “As much as working hard is important” signal a shift to the opposing side. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. The link between leisure and laziness, for example, is not clearly connected to the benefits of the message, and the final paragraph repeats the general claim that hard work matters rather than synthesising the two sides. Some transitions feel mechanical, and references such as “this saying” are not always precise. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain its effect with a specific example; use linking phrases only where they clarify that relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “time management,” “pressure,” “outcome,” and “success,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the reader pause. Examples include “other audience,” “introduced to a thinking,” “holds a major stake,” and “over exhausts the kid.” The repeated use of “hardwork” also reduces variety; use “hard work” as a noun and vary it with expressions such as “sustained effort” or “perseverance.” Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than more complicated wording, and check spelling and word forms carefully, including “achieved” and “children’s.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrastive structure in “As much as working hard is important it has some setbacks as well.” However, complex constructions are often not controlled, and errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. For example, “other audience have” has an agreement problem, while “some factors supports” does not match a plural subject. The sentence beginning “When repeatedly exposed to this saying” is incomplete and does not clearly connect its opening clause to the main idea. Punctuation also needs attention, particularly around introductory phrases and quotations. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and punctuation; this will make your meaning easier to follow.

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