Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Working hard become an important part of individuals life in recent years. In some cultures, pupils are often told that they can get everything that they want if they work hard enough. I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages related to the topic before giving my own opinion.

Individuals ask their children to work hard. This point of view contains a lot of advantages. Moreover, if a child stuck with some difficulty instead of ask help to other person. He try to tackle this problem through his own. This become very beneficial for itself. It boost its problem-solving skills and also decision making skills. Furthermore, in future is children face some more problems then they able to solve these difficulties. This has proved very effective for its future education and carrier. By this way they can be able to get anything that they want to have in their life.

On the other side, there are also some notable drawback of this idea. Consequently, the children want to do the thing they want nut the parents force them to work hard in another thing. In this situation a child become stressed and feel embarrassed. It is very effective to ask the children to do anything that suit their personallity and become helpful for their future carrier. In addition to this, if parents ask their pupils to work hard and it is the only way to get anything in life then they become the salave of this process and not focus on themselves. The results getting worse and they become physically weak.

In conclusion, the statement have advantages and drawbacks also. In my own opinion, working hard towards a goal is better option because it make a person mentally and physically strengthen. And also brings happiness in life .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a personal view, so the main parts of the prompt are present. The advantage that effort can build problem-solving and decision-making skills is relevant, and the disadvantage of pressure causing stress is also appropriate. However, these ideas are only partly explained: for example, the claim that children may become “the salave of this process” and grow physically weak is unclear and not convincingly linked to the message in the question. The conclusion supports hard work but does not fully clarify how children should balance effort with realistic limits or personal interests. Develop each point with a clear explanation or example, and keep the discussion focused on the effects of telling children they can achieve anything through effort.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the response. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other side” signal relationships between points, although some are used mechanically or do not accurately express the connection. Within paragraphs, ideas sometimes jump from problem-solving to future education and then to achieving anything, without enough explanation of how they connect. References such as “it,” “this,” and “they” are also occasionally unclear, particularly in “This become very beneficial for itself.” Use clearer topic sentences, make each paragraph develop one main idea in sequence, and ensure pronouns refer unmistakably to the child or children.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “problem-solving skills,” “decision making skills,” “stressed,” and “physically weak.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate enough to make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “get everything that they want,” “the salave of this process,” and “their future education and carrier”; the intended meanings are not always clear or natural. There are also spelling and word-form problems, such as “personallity” and “carrier” where “career” is intended. Aim for more precise expressions, such as describing effort as helping children “work towards their goals,” and check spelling and collocations carefully. Avoid repeating broad words such as “thing” and “anything” when a more specific noun would clarify the point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses clauses with “if,” “because,” and “instead of,” but control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that can make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “Working hard become an important part,” “if a child stuck,” and “the children want to do the thing they want nut the parents force them,” which show problems with verb forms, sentence construction, and punctuation. Agreement and pronoun forms are also unreliable, as in “This become very beneficial for itself” and “the statement have advantages.” Build accuracy first with clear subject–verb–object sentences, then add subordinate clauses and check that each clause has a subject and correctly formed verb. Review agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during editing.

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