Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Hope help us to stay calm during harsh days or suffering from any health issues. In few countries it has been told that if you work hard you can achieve what you wants ,there are several advantages of it as well as disadvantage .In my view hard work always paysoff with its consistency and its crucial to survive while being ina row of competetion with different people.

However hard work with disciplane and having knowldege about your goals can boost your confidence and enhance inner strength to get it.Although these advices always keep us on a track without being stressfull. There are many people who achived there goals through working 24 hours without sleeping.Take for example elon musk was trying to make a car who can fly he tryed many time with hope that some day he will succeed ,Recently he introduced flying car and proved that he got it after working hard.

There are few disadvantages that can create curiousity if we fail to achieved our goal.Firstly to keep stable or maintain financially burden which has got through there parents beside working hard many people are not able to manage there daily expenses.

To sumup it good to praise or to give a person to during difficult days.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both a possible benefit—hard work can build confidence and inner strength—and a disadvantage, such as financial pressure when goals are not achieved. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not clearly explain the specific effects of telling children that they can achieve anything, and much of the discussion shifts to hard work in general. The example about Elon Musk is difficult to follow and does not clearly support the message’s effect on children. Your final sentence also gives only a vague conclusion. The response is 41 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain both sides. Develop each advantage and disadvantage with a clear explanation and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph about benefits, a paragraph about disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Firstly,” and “To sum up” help signal these sections. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the opening begins with “Hope” without establishing its connection to the topic, and ideas within paragraphs are not consistently connected. For example, the discussion moves from confidence to people working without sleep and then to a flying car, without explaining the links. Some references, such as “it” and “there,” are unclear. Use one paragraph for each side, keep each paragraph focused on a single main idea, and explain how each example supports it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “confidence,” “inner strength,” “discipline,” and “financially,” showing an attempt to discuss both personal and practical consequences. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “in a row of competition,” “curiosity if we fail,” and “give a person to during difficult days.” Spelling errors—including “disciplane,” “knowldege,” and “competetion”—also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise phrases that directly express the idea, such as “cope with competition,” “feel disappointed if they fail,” and “offer encouragement during difficult times.” Proofreading for spelling and checking common word combinations would make your meaning easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a clause beginning “Although” and a sentence explaining that hard work can “boost your confidence and enhance inner strength.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “if you work hard you can achieve what you wants,” “many people who achived there goals,” and “he tryed many time.” These show problems with subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and plural forms. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly where several ideas run together. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and tense—for example, “people who achieve their goals” and “he tried many times.”

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