Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some societies, children are often encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough. Although this message can motivate them to pursue their goals, it may also create unrealistic expectations and lead to disappointment.

Admittedly, encouraging children to work hard can develop self-determination and self-discipline. When children understand that their efforts can improve their ablties, they may be willing to overcome difficulties. They will work diligently and effectively so as to succeed. For instance, a child who does not understand mathematics, if encouraged continuosly by their parents will in return create more time to practice to develop a better understanding. As a result, they perform better academically, develop self-confidence and are able to face challenges in adulthood.

Despite these benefits, hardwork does not guarantee success. This is because people have different abilities, opportunities and financial backgrounds. Some children learn quickly, while other requires more time and practice to undesrtand a topic. Moreover, children who come from wealthy homes due to their parent influencial ability can get the opportunities to work or school in any organization or educational institute of their choice. Even when children put in considerable effort they may not achieve their desired goals due to lack of opportunity or finance. For example, a hardowrking student may be unable to gain admission into the university because there parents cannot afford tuitio fees. Consequently, this can damage their self-esteem, they feel frustrated and and loose confidence in their abilities.

In conclusion, although encouraging children to work hard can motivate them to achieve better academic results and overcome challenges, it can also create unrealistic expectations and lead to disappointment. Therefore, children should be taught that hard work is important, but success is not always guaranteed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear position: hard work can motivate children, but it cannot guarantee success. The benefits are supported with a relevant example about a child practising mathematics, while the discussion of unequal opportunities is illustrated by a student unable to afford university tuition. These examples help extend the main points rather than merely listing them. The conclusion also restates the balanced view and offers a sensible qualification. Some claims, particularly the broad point about wealthy parents securing access to institutions, could be explained more precisely, and the consequences of unrealistic expectations could be developed further. More specific explanation of how children can be taught to balance effort with external limitations would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, effective structure: an introduction presents the central contrast, separate body paragraphs discuss benefits and drawbacks, and the conclusion summarises the position. Progression within each paragraph is generally logical, and signposting such as “Despite these benefits,” “For example,” and “Consequently” helps readers follow the argument. The mathematics example is connected to its outcome, and the university example supports the point about financial barriers. At times, however, the links between ideas are a little abrupt: the discussion moves from different learning speeds to parental wealth without a clear transition explaining their relationship. The sentence beginning “Consequently” also joins emotional effects in a slightly awkward way. Smoother transitions and clearer links between supporting points would make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing effort, education, and outcomes, with useful expressions such as “self-determination,” “overcome difficulties,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “self-esteem.” These choices communicate the argument clearly, and the writer attempts some less common language. However, several spelling errors and inaccurate forms reduce precision, including “ablties,” “continuosly,” “undesrtand,” “hardowrking,” and “influencial.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “parent influencial ability” and “create more time to practice.” Repeated use of “work hard,” “success,” and “children” limits flexibility somewhat. Proofreading spelling and choosing more natural collocations would improve control while preserving the clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concessive opening (“Although this message can motivate them…”) and a conditional example (“When children understand that their efforts can improve…”). Most sentences remain understandable, and the overall argument is not obscured. Some grammatical errors are present, particularly in agreement and sentence construction. For example, “while other requires” should use a plural subject and verb, and “a child who does not understand mathematics, if encouraged…” is an awkwardly arranged conditional clause. The sentence “Consequently, this can damage their self-esteem, they feel frustrated…” joins clauses incorrectly, while “there parents” and “loose confidence” also show errors in grammatical form. More accurate clause boundaries and careful checking of agreement would strengthen control.

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