Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some culture ,people do say to children that they can achive anything if they try hard enough.

I completely agree with the statements but there are some pro's and con's with the statement like how the children understand the statement

For example: The child should give enought efferts to achive the things not to force themself and keep themself under the pressure .Which could lead to depression and other symptoms.

The statement will help them to study also motivate them to achive things which could feel hard and impossible for them .Also lead to make them keep the efferts to achive the goal without demotivation. While understanding the real meaning .

Where as the disadvantage of the statement which could effect them from serias issues can lead to trouma if the goal is not reached or if they faild at the work after trying realy very hard .So making them undestand the statement is really much important.

Children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. where they are really focused and motivated to words the goal not worried about the result while some other take it in different way that they are already worried about the result before even trying also worried about what if they fail. This is where demotivation comes.

At the end the culture of saying that they can achive anything if they try hard enough has both adavantages and disadavantages which are all depends on the way one could understand the proper meaning and work on that. Whitout any hesitation.This message could leave both positive and negative impact on children .It's on depends on the way they understand the message.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your central point—that the effect depends on how children interpret the message—is clear by the conclusion. You identify relevant benefits, such as motivation to pursue difficult goals, and risks, including pressure, fear of failure, and emotional distress. However, these ideas are mostly asserted rather than explained with specific examples or fuller reasoning. The opening also says “I completely agree,” which does not clearly answer a question asking for advantages and disadvantages, and the discussion sometimes repeats the same point about interpretation instead of developing distinct effects. To strengthen the response, state your position directly in the introduction and explain each side with a concrete example, such as how a child might respond to an unattainable goal.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response introduces the topic, discusses possible benefits and harms, and ends with a summary. The reader can generally follow the main contrast. However, the progression between ideas is not consistently clear, and the response is presented as one continuous block rather than distinct paragraphs. Connectors such as “For example,” “Where as,” and “At the end” are sometimes awkward or do not clearly show the relationship between sentences. The point about children interpreting the message differently is repeated several times, while the benefits and disadvantages are not separated into a clear sequence. Use one paragraph for the introduction, separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion; make each paragraph develop one main idea with clear links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “motivated,” “goal,” “pressure,” “depression,” and “demotivation,” so the main ideas are usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “achieve,” “statement,” and “understand.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “achive,” “efferts,” “trouma,” and “disadavantages,” as well as imprecise or unnatural combinations such as “serias issues” and “worried about the result.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause. Build a more precise range for discussing effort and outcomes, and check spelling carefully. For example, use “persevere” or “make progress” instead of repeating “try hard,” and distinguish realistic encouragement from pressure to succeed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses to express cause and contrast, as in “This message could leave both positive and negative impact on children.” However, many sentences are incomplete or have faulty structure, which can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For instance, “Which could lead to depression and other symptoms” is a fragment, and “Where as the disadvantage of the statement which could effect them from serias issues” lacks a clear main clause. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “both positive and negative impact.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate subordinate clauses. Review punctuation and article use so that longer ideas remain easy to understand.

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