Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some culture, children said that they can achieve anything if they work diligently to achieve their goals. This massage can be give a sense of motivation to work hard towards their goals, but it can also creat a unrealistic burden and expectations. I believe that it has both pros and cons.

One major advantage is that if parents encourage their children, they feel very motivated and confident. They should strive to improve their skills. Moreover if they believe that effort can lead to success, they are more likely to face challenges and learn new skills. For instance, a student wants to become a doctor mat study hard and regular. As a result student perform better in exams. Furthermore, this massage teaches children not to give easily when they face challenges.

On the other hand, it has also some drawbacks such as it can lead too much pressure on children. They may think that failure always means they have not worked hard. However success also depends on factors such as opportunities, talent and financial condition. For example, a child work very hard but still fail to achieve a particular goal. This can lead to disappointment and low self-confidence. Meanwhile, some children feels extremely demotivated when not achieve their goal and they compares self with other, as a result it can lead mental problem and also creat some health issues.

In conclusion, telling children to work hard and achieve their goals in life because it can help them succed with many benefits, but if can also creat a pressure. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to work hard while teaching them to accept failure and understand their limitations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the message can motivate children, but may also create pressure. The advantages are supported with relevant points about confidence, persistence and learning, while the disadvantages include unrealistic expectations and disappointment when effort does not guarantee success. The examples of a student aiming to become a doctor and a child who fails to reach a goal help make the discussion concrete. However, some points are less fully explained: the link between comparing oneself with others and mental or physical health problems is asserted rather than developed, and the conclusion’s opening sentence is unclear. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of each example more precisely and make the final position easier to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from motivation and persistence to pressure and disappointment is easy to recognise. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” “On the other hand,” and “For example” help guide the reader. At times, however, these devices feel mechanical, and some connections between ideas are not fully clear. For instance, “Meanwhile” does not establish a clear contrast before the point about children comparing themselves with others. The conclusion also begins with a confusing sentence before restating the balanced view. Use transitions only where the relationship is clear, and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivation,” “confident,” “challenges,” “opportunities,” and “self-confidence,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “financial condition” and “unrealistic burden.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes distract the reader: “massage” is used for “message,” “creat” for “create,” and “succed” for “succeed.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “give easily” and “lead too much pressure.” Aim to learn common collocations as complete phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise wording for the effects of pressure would also help you express the disadvantages without relying on repeated general terms such as “goal” and “hard.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if they believe that effort can lead to success” and a contrast introduced by “but.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur in several places. For example, “a student wants to become a doctor mat study” has an incorrect verb form, while “some children feels” and “they compares” show agreement problems. The conclusion’s opening sentence, “telling children to work hard and achieve their goals in life because…,” is also structurally incomplete. Work on forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, especially in longer sentences. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas clearer.

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