Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This try hard ability both have advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly, when children have strength to do anything without losing hope it is very beneficial for their personality and career growth. for example when children doing something related their study or jobs . at the starting point they face many difficulties even they go through many challenging stages if children try hard without downing their knees one day they completed their journey and they acquire everything what they want and it help them to become a successful career. On the other hand, when children want achieve something and try hard the main thing is how much their culture support them to obtain what they want and it is the main problem children face significantly. For instance when children want to open their own business like schools which help their society to enhance their residence level but lower class society discourage them due to their knowledge difference because when society see new changing their insecurities increase they think it may be effect our culture or children . In this stage children try to do best efforts in the end they not get support that not effect their efforts but also it hard to doing any thing without permission. In conclusion both advantages and disadvantage are involved in achieve anything only enough to try hard but when children focus on strategies without just try hard it may effect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question: persistence may help children succeed, while lack of cultural or community support can create obstacles. The example of a child wanting to start a school gives the disadvantage some context. However, the advantages and disadvantages are only partly explained, and the conclusion shifts to strategies without clearly summarising the two sides or stating a firm overall view. The response also contains 235 words, so it is 15 words below the 250-word minimum; 17 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation of how the message affects children, and use the extra space to complete the discussion and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “Firstly,” a contrasting paragraph introduced by “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers identify the intended advantages and disadvantages. However, progression within the body paragraphs is difficult to follow, especially where the discussion moves from persistence to cultural support and then to permission. Several ideas are joined into long, unclear sequences, and the conclusion does not clearly connect back to the two sides discussed. Use one central point per paragraph, order its explanation and example clearly, and make links between sentences more precise rather than relying mainly on “for example” and contrast markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “challenging stages,” “personality and career growth,” “discourage,” and “insecurities.” These choices show an effort to discuss persistence and social barriers. However, the range is limited and several word combinations or forms are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to understand: “downing their knees,” “acquire everything what they want,” and “enhance their residence level” are not natural expressions in this context. Aim for precise, conventional collocations and check word forms. For example, describe children as “persevering,” say they may “achieve their goals,” and explain that a community can “raise living standards.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You try to use both simple and longer sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures, as in “when children want to open their own business.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries can make the argument hard to follow. Examples include “This try hard ability both have,” “when children doing something,” and “they not get support.” Punctuation is also inconsistent, with a full stop separating “jobs” from the next sentence and a long run-on in the disadvantage paragraph. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, then join ideas using controlled clauses and appropriate punctuation.

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