Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Achieving anything is possible by trying hard enough, is often a message told to children in some cultures. By telling this type of message will let children trust their belief and open options to explore their likes, while unrealistic expectations might put them in excessive mental stress and frustration.

Regarding the advantage, spreading positivity through positive words help in children's mind development. By leting them think that they could achieve anything they want by trying hard, will let them think about setting a goal and achieveing it. And, when they achieve that finally, they will start believing in themselves, which is crucial for mental growth. For instance, my cousin used to be very bad at playing football. One day, I told him that he can play better football if he wanted to but he has to work hard. He followed my instructions and after a month, he got a call from his school to join junior football team, they were impressed by his performance.

On regards to the disadvantages, delevering messages as such might let children set unrealistic expectations for them, which can lead them towards depression and psychological pressure. For example, parents in China pressurise their students to study hard. Parents should not be blamed here as China's cultural perspective let parent's put excessive pressure on children to get good grades. As a result, childrens fall into deppression and mental stress to achieve their goal which set by the culture.

To conlude, messages like, by trying hard enough children can achieve anything they want can bring advantages such as setting up realistic goals, belief and motivation, while puting up unrealistic expectations and excessive hardship may cause mental stress and psychological disturbance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: encouragement can build confidence and motivation, while unrealistic expectations may create psychological pressure. The football example makes the benefit more concrete, and the discussion of academic pressure in China supports the disadvantage. This meets the task well, but the two sides are not equally developed: the first example explains a personal outcome, whereas the disadvantage paragraph makes broad claims about depression without showing how the message itself leads to that result. The conclusion also introduces “realistic goals,” although the essay’s concern is unrealistic expectations. To strengthen the response, explain the conditions under which effort-based encouragement is helpful or harmful, and make the link between each example and the message more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For instance,” “On regards to the disadvantages,” and “To conclude” help identify the stages of the argument. However, some linking is mechanical, and a few references or transitions are unclear. For example, “they were impressed by his performance” leaves the reader to infer who “they” refers to, while “Parents should not be blamed here” interrupts the explanation rather than connecting smoothly to the point about cultural pressure. Use more precise referencing and connect examples directly to the preceding claim. A clearer transition into the conclusion would also help it synthesise the argument rather than repeat it.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “unrealistic expectations,” “mental stress,” “psychological pressure,” and “crucial for mental growth.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “spreading positivity through positive words,” “open options,” and “set by the culture.” There are also spelling errors, including “delevering,” “deppression,” and “conlude.” These do not prevent understanding, but they make the writing less controlled. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check spelling carefully; for example, describe encouragement as “fostering self-belief” and expectations as “imposed by cultural norms.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “while,” “which,” and “when,” and the main meaning is generally clear. Some sentences are accurate, such as “He followed my instructions and after a month, he got a call from his school.” However, there are several errors in sentence construction and agreement. “By telling this type of message will let children…” is not a complete, well-formed structure, and “positive words help in children's mind development” has an awkward grammatical pattern. Other examples include “By leting them think… will let them think” and “children can achieve… can bring advantages… while puting up…,” where the clauses do not connect correctly. Practise building sentences around a clear subject and finite verb, and check agreement and parallel structure when joining ideas.

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