Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

some culture argue children to try hard because it will provide everything the kids,Children are encouraged to do some of the work both in school and at work but not forced because it help in their intellectual and physical developments,although the shouldn't be force to do those things,we will discuss the effect and the solutions. and also see the advantages Children in their early stage learn many things,for instance schooling to learn how to read and writng,the are encouraged to do so by the parents and the teachers,by guoding their hands how to hold pencil and when you task is achieved, they are always happy and the will like to practice on the own but if the are forced with cane to flog them when the don't get it,they will learn with fear and wouldn't be able to do it willingly on their own,this lead to the disadvantage of threatening them with cane.

Furthermore, Children should be also allow to make decisions with adult guiding them,for instance when children say the don't want to continue maybe laerning,allow them to play,commands and giving them big task that they can't do may discourage them leading to them being stuborn and not ready to list

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes a limited attempt to discuss the topic, but it does not clearly address both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children that effort can help them achieve anything. It shifts instead to whether children should be forced to study or punished, as in “if they are forced with cane,” which is related only indirectly to the message in the question. The possible benefit of encouragement is suggested through children feeling happy after learning, but this point is not clearly explained as an advantage. The disadvantage is also left incomplete. The response is 202 words, below the required 250, so there is not enough development. To improve, state a clear position and explain one specific advantage and one specific disadvantage of this message, with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise ideas: the response begins with a general introduction and then uses “Furthermore” to introduce another point. The example about learning to write also gives the reader a topic to follow. However, the overall progression is difficult to track because the opening promises to discuss “the effect and the solutions,” while the body moves between encouragement, punishment, decision-making and playing without clearly linking these ideas to the question. Several sentences run together, and the final sentence ends abruptly at “not ready to list,” leaving the point unfinished. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main idea. Clearer linking and complete sentences would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “encouraged,” “intellectual and physical developments,” “decisions” and “discourage.” These choices show an attempt to discuss children’s learning and motivation. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unclear, which sometimes strains understanding. For example, “provide everything the kids” does not express the idea of achieving anything through effort, and “threatening them with cane” is an awkward way to describe punishment. Spelling errors such as “writng,” “guoding” and “stuborn” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise vocabulary around effort, achievement, confidence and unrealistic expectations, and check spelling and natural word combinations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to use both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if they are forced … they will learn with fear” and a contrast introduced by “but.” These attempts show some grammatical range. However, sentence boundaries and clause structure are often poorly controlled, and errors can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, the opening joins several ideas with commas, while “when you task is achieved” and “the are encouraged” contain errors in articles, pronouns and agreement. The final sentence is incomplete, and punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces and full stops. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas using accurate conjunctions and punctuation.

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