Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, achieving aim is an important part for every individuals life. Some people belive that children are taught that they can achieve any goal if they work hard enough. This belief has both advantages and disadvantages for their personal growth and future success.

On the one hand, this message can increase children confidence and motivate them to work harder. When children belive the effort lead to succes, they can face any difficulty instead to giving uo easily. For example, a students who can face problem to sovle math equation may continure pratising and improve their result. Furthermore, this belifef teaches them valuable qualtiies such as patience, determination and perservence. These skills can help them to overcome challenges face in education and carreer. As a result, they become more indipendent and develeop positve attituate toward their life.

On the other hand, this messge can create unrealistic expectation among children. In reality, success depned not only on hard working but other factors can also be added such as financial circumstances, natural ability, opportunity and luck. If they do their best and still fail they may become disappointed. For instance, a children might dram of becoming a professional footballer, but lack of limitation and not proper training amenities may prevent this goal. Moreover, children may blame themselves of not achieving their aim because they think work harder is the essentail step to achieve goal.

In conclusion, teaching children that hard work can help them to achive their goals and build confidence. However, it some also cause frustration when their effort not produce the expected result because they expect too much and not caluate other factors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: the message can build confidence, but may also create unrealistic expectations. The examples about practising a maths equation and aspiring to become a professional footballer make the discussion relevant. The explanation of perseverance and independence is reasonably developed, while the disadvantage that children may blame themselves is identified but could be explained more fully—for example, how this might affect their confidence or choices. The conclusion restates the balance, although its wording is unclear in places. To strengthen the response further, develop the consequences of each point more evenly and make the final judgement more precise, such as explaining how adults can encourage effort while acknowledging factors beyond a child’s control.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, effective structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression within each body paragraph is generally logical, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the contrast. Examples are placed alongside the points they support. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, and the final paragraph’s sentence beginning “However, it some also cause frustration” makes the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. There are also places where references such as “this belief” and “this message” could be tied more precisely to the specific claim. More varied transitions and clearer links between cause and consequence would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a relevant range of vocabulary, including “determination,” “perseverance,” “unrealistic expectation,” and “financial circumstances.” These choices show an effort to discuss the topic beyond basic terms. However, spelling and word-form errors are frequent and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “belive,” “succes,” “qualtiies,” “indipendent,” and “essentail.” Some combinations are also unnatural or unclear, such as “face any difficulty,” “lack of limitation,” and “not proper training amenities.” These issues limit precision even though the main ideas remain understandable. Focus on accurate spelling and natural collocations, and check that each noun or adjective expresses the intended meaning. A smaller set of well-controlled topic-specific phrases would improve clarity more than adding ambitious vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and attempts at complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If they do their best and still fail…” and clauses introduced by “When” and “because.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “the effort lead” needs subject–verb agreement, “a students” has an article–plural mismatch, and “their effort not produce” is missing an auxiliary verb. The conclusion also contains an incomplete or malformed construction in “However, it some also cause frustration.” Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then review singular/plural agreement and articles. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex ideas easier to follow.

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