Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's rapidly changing world childern tend to work harder in an effective way. In some cultures, children are often told that if they try harder, they will be able to achieve anything in life. I completely agree with this, because this motivates them to never give up on anything. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

The drawback of constantly pushing children to try harder is they will not be able to confront the failure. That means the idea is to make children able to achieve anything in life and confronting failure is also a part of lives. Although encouraging them to face challenges on their own is beneficial but not telling them about losing could be devastating for children. For instance, if a student has failed the exam despite his effort, this will effect his well-being. Because he has not been ready to face the failure.

The importance of memorising children about their efforts outweigh the disadvantage. The main benefit is the eageress of children to have everything in life they want and they even put extra efforts to achieve that aim or goal. The reason is that they are being taught since their childhood, that they are capable of doing everything in their lives. The outcome is that they fixed their goals and they will do aything to achieve those goals. In addition, this make children become more disciplined and motivated towards the life. For example, if a child knows that he is capable of doing anything, he will be more confident and passionate towards the work he will do.

In conclusion, I completely appreciate the concept of motivating children since their childhood. As in some cultures they are following this idea and the advantages fairly outweigh the drawback.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and make your position clear: you believe the benefits outweigh the drawback. The discussion of failure is relevant, and the example of a student failing an exam despite effort helps illustrate a possible emotional consequence. However, the disadvantage is developed more clearly than the advantages, which rely largely on broad claims that children become eager, disciplined and confident. Explain more precisely how this message can build persistence, and acknowledge that effort cannot guarantee every outcome. The conclusion restates your view but does not add much synthesis. Developing the benefits with the same care as the drawback would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the disadvantage and advantages, and a conclusion. The progression from the risk of being unprepared for failure to the benefits of motivation is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For instance” and “In addition” help connect examples and points. Some links are mechanical or unclear, however. “Although encouraging them to face challenges on their own is beneficial but…” combines two contrasting structures, while “The importance of memorising children about their efforts outweigh the disadvantage” does not clearly introduce the intended point. Use simpler, more precise transitions and make each paragraph’s opening sentence state its main idea directly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “confront the failure,” “well-being,” “disciplined,” and “motivated,” which helps communicate the topic. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “the outcome” and “the concept of motivating children.” However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision: “memorising children about their efforts” does not express the intended meaning, and “eageress of children to have everything in life they want” is awkward. Spelling errors such as “childern,” “eageress,” and “aything” are noticeable. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully; a more precise vocabulary range would make your ideas clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms (“if a child knows… he will be more confident”) and a concession beginning with “Although.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “The drawback … is they will not be able” needs a clearer clause structure, and “this make children become” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “Because he has not been ready…” is a fragment, while “Although … but” uses two competing conjunctions. Practise forming complete sentences and checking agreement, verb forms and clause links. More accurate control of these structures would strengthen the essay.

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