Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern era, children are very creative at young age. On that note, in numerous cultures, children are mostly told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This essay will discuss both the pros and cons of this phenomenon.

There are a lot of advantages of giving children this message. Firstly, if people tell children to work hard for achieve anything they fell motivated and get encouragement from other. As a result they do hard work and archieve anything. For example, if a student is weak in any particular subject than teacher help to solve these problem at that time they happy and try hard enough to solve problem. Moreover, in the early age, children are very creative and active minded so they can easily catch-up anything. Therefore, they start learning about in their interseted subject and get good result if they do hard work. Thus, these are the benefits of giving children this message.

On the other hand, there are many disadvantages of giving children this message. To begin with, if they get pressure from other to give thier best and try hard to archieve anything they feel stress, anxiety and depression, if only focus on particular thing. Furthermore, children start compering them with other children. They feel that they are weaker from other top students , which lead great misunderstanding between children and they try to bully other children if they cannot get good result. Hence, these are the drawbacks of giving children this message.

To conclude, there are many advantages of telling children to do hard work for archieve something because they feel motivated and become confident after archieving something. Even though these trend have few drawbacks like children get stress and compare them with others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant conclusion: the message may motivate children, but it can also create stress and comparison. The examples about support with a difficult subject and pressure to outperform others help illustrate these points. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The advantages largely repeat the idea that hard work leads to success, while the link between comparison and bullying is asserted rather than explained. The opening comment about children being creative does not clearly answer the question, and the conclusion introduces confidence without developing it in the body. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how the message can help or harm children, and make the examples support those explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand” makes the direction of the discussion easy to follow. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated summary phrases such as “Thus, these are the benefits” and “Hence, these are the drawbacks.” Some connections are also unclear: the example about a teacher helping a student does not fully explain how the general message produces achievement, and the move from comparison to bullying needs a clearer link. Use fewer formulaic transitions and develop each point in a more connected sequence, with clear references to the ideas already introduced.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivated,” “encouragement,” “stress,” “anxiety,” and “depression.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors weaken precision. Examples include “archieve,” “interseted,” “compering,” and “weaker from other”; these may slow the reader or make the intended meaning less clear. Phrases such as “do hard work” and “get good result” are also repetitive and not natural in this context. Build a more accurate range for discussing effort, expectations, and emotional effects, and check spelling and collocations carefully. Replacing repeated basic phrases with precise alternatives would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if people tell children…” and a contrast introduced by “Even though.” However, the range is limited, and attempts at longer sentences often contain errors that can make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “if they get pressure … they feel stress … if only focus” lacks a clear grammatical subject and structure, while “if a student is weak … than teacher help” has problems with clause construction and verb forms. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and plurals, as in “teacher help” and “these problem.” Practise building accurate conditional sentences and check that every clause has a subject and a correctly formed verb.

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