Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely acknowledged that hard working leads us to be successful. In some nations elders teach their children to struggle hard to acommpish their goals. In this essay i will discuss its pro and cons.

To begin with, hard working is a necessary element to achieve certain goals therefore, people tell their children doing things with full effort asisst us to gain a goal. For instance, in a class students who studies with devotion and work hard they get good grades and high position. Moreover, struggle with consistency polishes the skills of any person. For example, if a person wants to improve language skills and work hard to learn it he will reach their requaired level after certain time.

On the other hand, try hard is not only demand of achievement. We also need smart planing and focused environment because without these factors only struggle hard is useless. In addition, sometimes people work day and night to become successful but at the end they face faliure and disappointed. As a result many individuals fight with depression. To cite an example, many children put efforts to win the competition and finally lose it. Consequently, they feel stress and low.

In conclusion, I believe that people should teach children to work hard as well as to face the results especially when it becomes opposite to our efforts and planning. Therefore, children should be ready for every situation of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: hard work can help children reach goals and develop skills, while effort alone may not guarantee success and setbacks can cause stress. Your examples about students’ grades and children losing competitions are relevant. However, the advantages and disadvantages are not developed equally: the benefits are explained more clearly, whereas the discussion of failure and depression needs a clearer link to the message children receive. Your conclusion gives a sensible position, but could state more directly how adults should balance encouragement with realistic expectations. The response also falls 12 words short of the required 250-word minimum, so it does not fully meet the task’s length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, one paragraph for advantages, one for disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main direction. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “therefore” joins the opening claim to the advice given to children without clearly showing the relationship, and “As a result” moves from failure to depression without enough explanation. The examples generally follow the points they illustrate, but the progression would be stronger if each paragraph developed one central idea step by step and used clearer references to the message about effort.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “goals,” “consistency,” “focused environment,” “failure,” and “depression.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “polishes the skills,” though this collocation is not natural. Several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “acommpish,” “asisst,” “requaired,” and “faliure,” and phrases such as “struggle hard” and “low” are imprecise in context. These do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim to use accurate collocations such as “achieve a goal,” “make consistent efforts,” and “feel discouraged.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if a person wants to improve language skills…” and a reason clause beginning “because.” The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in sentence structure and verb forms occur regularly. For example, “students who studies” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “people tell their children doing things” is missing a grammatical link such as “to do.” The sentence beginning “For instance, in a class…” also lacks clear structure, and “they will reach their required level” shifts pronouns inconsistently from “a person” and “he.” Review agreement, infinitives after verbs such as “tell,” and punctuation around longer clauses to make your varied structures more controlled.

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