Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely acknowledged that hard work leads us to be successfull. In some nations elders teach children to struggle hard to achieve their goals. However, it is not necessary hard work gives us same results. In this essay i will discuss its pros and cons.

To commence with, struggle hard is essential for achievements. When children work hard commonly they get good results. For example, teachers and parents always teach children that putting efforts in study give you high grades. Consequently, they get great marks in exames. Moreover, work hard helps us to learn and improve our skills. For instance, learning a language with efforts make individuals experts in it. Constant practice demand effort as a result we achieve our goal of learning language.

On the other hand, only work hard do not work in every situation.Sometimes smart planning and strategy is also need to be successfull.Therefore, after struggle hard when children face failure they become disappointed and depressed. To cite an example, when students study day and night to achieve certain goal but at the end they face failure or low grades they are depressed and not able to move on. In addition, with this failure they feel lose confident on their abilities.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that we should teach our children both sides of struggle hard because work hard gives us good results mostly. However, failure is also a part of life. if we put efforts to achieve our goals we should ready for every situation and stay positive with them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: hard work can bring good results, but children should also understand that failure is possible. The examples about studying for grades and practising a language support the benefits, while the discussion of disappointment after low grades covers a relevant drawback. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The benefits are repeated in similar terms, and the disadvantage of losing confidence is mentioned but not explored in detail. The response would be stronger if you explained more precisely why effort cannot guarantee success and how adults can encourage persistence without creating unrealistic expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “In addition” help signal the direction of the argument, and the examples generally follow the points they illustrate. This gives the response a coherent progression. Some connections are nevertheless mechanical or unclear: “Constant practice demand effort as a result we achieve our goal” joins related ideas without effective punctuation, and “with this failure” has an unclear reference. The conclusion also shifts quickly from summarising the argument to advice. Use clearer sentence boundaries and make each paragraph develop one main point in a more deliberate sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “achieve their goals,” “strategy,” “failure,” and “confident,” and the reader can generally understand your meaning. There are also attempts to express ideas beyond basic statements, such as describing children becoming “disappointed and depressed.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “work hard,” “struggle hard,” and “goal,” while several word choices and forms are inaccurate or unnatural. Examples include “successfull,” “exames,” “putting efforts,” and “lose confident.” These errors sometimes make the phrasing awkward, even when the intended meaning remains clear. Build a wider set of natural collocations for effort, achievement, and setbacks, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “when children work hard … they get good results” and a contrast introduced by “However.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “work hard helps us” needs a gerund subject and agreement, while “learning a language with efforts make individuals experts” has problems with both the subject and verb form. In “if we put efforts … we should ready,” the clause needs a complete verb construction. Capitalisation and spacing after full stops are also inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete clause structures while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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