Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many cultures children children says that they can achieve anything by much more hardwork. The statement of this essay shows the type of essay which is advantages and disadvantages . I have mixed opinion about that and I also discussed my opinion as below .

There are many benifits of that and I also disscussed some benefits here . Firstly, the children who says that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough they become hardworking . Secondly, that kind of children become self-confident . Thirdly, they can self-reliant and also independent . Further more, that kind of children learnt many lessons from life and the incidents happened in his life . They also become more stronge by facing the hurdles .

To start, there are some disadvantages which I discuss here . If a children can believe on that they can achieve anything by trying hard enough sometimes they can never reached to their goals so, they can feel inferiority complex . It depends upon the children mind and it's time . If they can never achieve their goals or not reached to their destination they can never try anything in their lives due to fear of failure .Some of the children go to depression after facing the failure .

To conclude, this essay have both advantages and disadvantages some children work hard and became successful , but some can be stressed by facing failure . In my opinion, parents have also to encourage her children .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, giving relevant points such as increased hard work and confidence, alongside disappointment and fear of failure. However, these ideas are mostly listed rather than explained with examples or clear cause-and-effect development, and your position is not fully clear: “I have mixed opinion” is stated, but the conclusion mainly repeats the two sides. The final point about parents encouraging children is relevant but needs explanation. The response is also 10 words below the 250-word minimum, which limits the space available to develop the discussion. To strengthen the response, explain how the message can motivate children while also clarifying that effort does not guarantee every outcome, and make your overall view explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Further more,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages. However, the repeated list format makes progression somewhat mechanical, and several points are not linked or developed into a connected explanation. For example, the shift from self-confidence to independence and life lessons is abrupt. Some references are also unclear, as in “It depends upon the children mind and it's time.” Improve cohesion by grouping related benefits, using clearer references, and showing how each point leads to the next rather than relying mainly on numbered transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “self-confident,” “independent,” “hurdles,” “goals,” and “fear of failure.” This gives you a basic range for discussing motivation and setbacks. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision, such as “benifits,” “disscussed,” “more stronge,” and “believe on that.” Repeated use of “children” and “achieve” also makes the writing less varied. Aim to learn accurate topic phrases and use them in natural combinations, for example, “build resilience” or “cope with setbacks.” Proofreading spelling and choosing more precise expressions would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional ideas such as “If a children can believe… sometimes they can never reached to their goals.” However, errors are frequent and can make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include subject–verb agreement (“children… says”), incorrect verb forms (“they can never reached”), and article or plural errors (“a children”). Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, with spaces before full stops and a run-on transition in “so, they can feel inferiority complex.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add conditional clauses while checking agreement and verb forms. More reliable control of these patterns would make your argument clearer.

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