Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children are the shaper and builder of our future genaration. Parents as well as the society possess higher expectations which often leads them to motivate and train and make prepare for the upcoming challenges. In some cultures, children are often motivated to work hard to achieve anything while the role of innate genious and luck often ignored. This essay will disscuss the advantages of believing in hard work to keep motivatied the children and the disavantages of how soley relying on hard work can seldom cause misfortune and deam confidence.

Most parents believe that hard work can bring desired goal to their children. As a result, they are taught of industious work at the early stage of their life. They are trained and coached by their mentors and made believe hard work is only responsible for their success.Hard work make diciplined, risilient, punctual, studious, structured lessons which are the crucial elements for higher academic scores.For instance,studies showed that Indiand are attaining excellent results over 4 decades in the field of science and technology by the means of hard work,

However, the problem starts when their hard work fails to achieve their expected result and children are unable to accept the reality. They fail to address therir failure and slips into depression. Moreover, innate genious and luck can sometime surpass the outcome of hard work. For instance, Leonel Messi is one of the finest player of his team though other players do the same training under the same coach.Here messi;s luck favours sometime in scoring the highest goals in the last worldcup match.

In conclusion, working hard alone can not always be the reason of success while genious and luck sometimes play a vital role in achievements. So it is wise to have a balance approach towards motivating children. They should know the importance of hard work and the role of extra ordinary merit and make them prepare for any battle of life in every possible situations.It will save them from dissappointment and depression maintaining their confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear overall view: hard work can support achievement, but children should also understand that effort does not guarantee success. The discussion of discipline and resilience is relevant, and the example about Messi helps illustrate the role of factors beyond effort. The conclusion also returns to the need for balance. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: the link between hard work and academic scores is brief, while the claim that failure may lead to depression needs clearer explanation and careful qualification. The examples are relevant but broad, so extending them with more precise reasoning would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. The progression from the value of effort to the risks of relying on it is generally clear, and signposts such as “As a result,” “However,” and “Moreover” help guide the reader. Some connections are less smooth or precise, though. The first body paragraph moves quickly from coaching to discipline and then academic results, without clearly explaining each link. The Messi example also needs a clearer connection to luck or innate ability. Several sentences run together, particularly around “success.Hard work” and the final sentence, which weakens cohesion. Use clearer sentence boundaries and develop each paragraph around one central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “resilient,” “innate,” “expectations,” and “achievements,” and the main ideas remain understandable. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “genaration,” “disscuss,” “soley,” and “dissappointment” are examples. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “made prepare,” “desired goal,” and “deam confidence.” Repetition of “hard work” and “children” limits flexibility, while “genious” is used where “genius” or “natural ability” would be appropriate. To strengthen this area, check spelling carefully, learn common collocations, and vary repeated terms with accurate alternatives such as “effort,” “persistence,” and “young people.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts at both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning “when” and “though,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure and basic grammar are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “Parents as well as the society possess higher expectations which often leads” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “Hard work make diciplined” lacks a clear grammatical structure. Other examples include “children are unable to accept the reality” and “It will save them … maintaining their confidence,” where article use and clause construction need attention. Punctuation also causes run-on sentences, especially where a full stop is missing after “success.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences before adding subordinate clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.