Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are the building block of any society, it is vital what information we are feeding them at their learning age as it develops their early personality and develop traits which last for the lifetime.

There can be various advantages regarding telling a child that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, few of them are below;

1- Training a child with a can do attitude can help develop strong traits in them like mentally strong, emotionally stable and matureness from start. These traits can surely help them to compete and to be strong in the era where we are encountering a lot of refusals, competition for each position and if they are grown up to never loose hope and try hard everytime. It is likely for them to land somewhere good without overthinking to the rejections

2- Children can become a lot more smarter and can be more responsive as from their early age they are thought to try more harder, learn from the previous experiance and to not loose hope. Resulting in being looking for opportunity everywhere and to become smarter in contrast to the children who are getting everything with minimal effort

There can be various disadvantages as well, few of them are listed below;

1- When a child is trained from start to try hard evertime if they want to achieve anything in life can result in a mental strain sticking with them for lifetime

2- It can result in developing some negative traits like selfishness and being rude towards other as they can consider themselve self-made with which comes attitude and ego

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives relevant reasons: persistence may help children cope with rejection and seek opportunities, while pressure to keep trying could cause lasting strain or encourage ego. However, the discussion is uneven and the ideas are only partly explained. For example, the first advantage links perseverance to emotional strength and employment prospects, but does not show clearly how the message itself produces these outcomes. The second disadvantage also needs a clearer explanation of how encouragement might lead to selfishness or rudeness. A more developed response would explain each point with a specific example and clarify that effort can help, but cannot guarantee every outcome. The position is implied rather than clearly stated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, advantages, and disadvantages, with numbered points that make the main ideas easy to locate. The contrast between the two sides is also clear. However, the numbered-list format makes the essay feel more like notes than a connected argument, and the progression within some points is difficult to follow. For instance, the first advantage moves from personal traits to competition and then to finding a good position without clearly linking each step. Phrases such as “Resulting in” create an incomplete connection to the preceding sentence. Use full paragraphs, topic sentences, and clearer links between cause and result; also make references such as “them” and “which” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “can-do attitude,” “mental strain,” “rejections,” and “opportunity,” and the reader can generally understand the intended ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the meaning less precise. Examples include “matureness,” “land somewhere good,” and “getting everything with minimal effort.” Spelling errors such as “experiance” and “loose” (where you mean “lose”) also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check word forms and spelling carefully. More precise terms for persistence, pressure, and outcomes would help you express the advantages and disadvantages with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use complex sentences and conditional relationships, such as “if they are grown up to never loose hope,” but control is inconsistent. Several sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “Children are the building block of any society, it is vital what information we are feeding them” joins two independent clauses with a comma and has an awkward clause structure. “These traits can surely help them to compete and to be strong … and if they are grown up” also shifts structure without completing the thought clearly. Subject–verb agreement and sentence construction need attention, as in “it develops … and develop traits.” Practise building accurate sentences before adding multiple clauses, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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