Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In certain societies, youngsters are often taught that there are no limits to what they can accomplish through continuous effort and determination.

On the one hand, with this, children become more confident. they believe that their efforts can help them overcome difficulties. For example a child who struggles with mathematics may continue practising instead of giving up immediately. This can improve their learning abilities and determination.

On the other hand, children may develop unrealisitc expectations. they might assume that hard work alone is enough to achieve every goal, ignoring factors such as financial circumstances, opportunities and natural limitations. For example, a student may stuy extremely hard but still fail to secure admission to a highly competitive university because of limited places. This may lead to disappointment and self-blame.

In simple word as to conclude that, this view has both pros and cons but i believe its not neccesary that hard work is the only key to success but also smart work and other factors are equally important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: confidence and persistence are presented as advantages, while unrealistic expectations and disappointment are identified as disadvantages. The mathematics example supports the first point, and the competitive-university example illustrates the second. However, these ideas remain brief, and the conclusion introduces “smart work and other factors” without explaining how this qualifies the earlier discussion. Your position is therefore only partly developed, and the response does not fully explore the implications of giving children this message. The response is also 83 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each main point with further explanation or a second relevant example, then state your overall view more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for advantages, one for disadvantages, and a concluding statement. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the contrast, and the examples are placed beside the points they support. However, the progression is quite mechanical, with limited linking within paragraphs. The conclusion’s opening, “In simple word as to conclude that,” is awkward and does not connect smoothly to the preceding discussion. Also, the lowercase starts in “they believe” interrupt the flow. Use a more natural concluding transition and connect each claim to its explanation with clearer referencing, rather than relying mainly on fixed signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “continuous effort and determination,” “overcome difficulties,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “competitive university.” These choices make the main ideas understandable and show some range beyond basic wording. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy: “unrealisitc,” “stuy,” and “neccesary” are misspelled, while “In simple word” is not a natural expression. “Learning abilities” is also less precise than a phrase such as “academic skills.” The vocabulary is adequate for communicating your points, but control is uneven, particularly in the conclusion. Check spelling carefully and choose natural collocations; adding precise terms such as “persistence,” “external constraints,” and “setbacks” would help you express the argument more flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some more developed structures, such as “A student may study extremely hard but still fail … because of limited places.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical and punctuation errors are noticeable. For example, “they believe” and “i believe” need capital letters, and the final sentence beginning “In simple word as to conclude that” is not formed as a complete, natural clause. The opening of the advantage paragraph, “On the one hand, with this,” also creates an unclear sentence connection. Try varying sentence patterns while keeping each clause complete, and review capitalization and punctuation. A clearer conclusion could use a direct structure such as “In conclusion, effort matters, but success also depends on …”

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