Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modren age children are well aware of the enviroment arround them due to socializing and availability of resources like internet. Young minds are already well aware of their potentials.There is no pressure on children to follow or do what elders are saying them to do like past times. They persue their own passions and intrests,but we cannot deny that children always need guidance in every aspect of their lives. In some cultures, still elders always promote this notion that if you are willing to do something put your hard work in to it and you will eventually become successful. But this is not true in some cases it depends mostly on the capability of the child so firstly child's abilities should be assessed.

Hard work aways pays of in one way or the other. The child with enough mental abilities will automatically follow the rout of hardworking becuase he will have an inner drive to use his intellect into some productive ways.When he will be encouraged he will get advantage most out of it. For example, hard work in case of practicing any skill again and again will make it perfect.

But children struggling with some uderlying disabilities will not get same result no matter how hard work they put in to same case as a nomal child.Hardwork require patience and energy which they will not be able to manage and eventually when they face little hurdle, they will back off.

so it is concluded that this massage will have positive impact on students mostly when they take it as motivation but can cause pressure which will effect the mental stability of children and will have bad impact on the results.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the potential benefit and drawback of telling children that effort leads to success, and your position is that the message can motivate some children but may create pressure for others. The example of practising a skill repeatedly helps illustrate the benefit. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the claim that success depends on a child’s “capability” is not clearly explained, and the paragraph about children with disabilities makes a broad claim without showing how adults could adapt the message. The conclusion repeats the main contrast but does not add a clear qualification. Develop each side with a more precise explanation and a relevant example, while avoiding the implication that effort is ineffective for children with disabilities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation: the opening introduces the issue, the next paragraph discusses motivation and practice, and the following paragraph presents a possible disadvantage before a brief conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several points are joined abruptly. For example, “But this is not true in some cases” shifts from the cultural message to capability without explaining the connection. The final paragraph begins with “so it is concluded,” but the conclusion is compressed and does not clearly follow from the preceding discussion. Use clearer topic sentences, separate background from your position, and connect each example explicitly to the advantage or disadvantage it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “guidance,” “inner drive,” “underlying disabilities,” and “mental stability.” These choices show an attempt to discuss motivation and individual differences. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response less clear, such as “persue,” “intrests,” “hardwork,” and “massage” for “message.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “follow the rout of hardworking” and “get advantage most out of it.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and choose precise terms when discussing children’s abilities and the effects of pressure. This will make your ideas easier to understand and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas using clauses and conditional language, as in “when they face little hurdle, they will back off,” and the response includes both simple and longer sentences. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Examples include “There is no pressure on children to follow or do what elders are saying them to do,” where the verb pattern is incorrect, and “when he will be encouraged,” where the tense form is unsuitable. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, such as “a little hurdle” and the run-on construction “But this is not true in some cases it depends…”. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then join them with correctly formed subordinate clauses and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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