Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Youngsters are generally told to work hard enough to excel in academics, specifically in some cultures. Advantages can be that young minds unlock their potential and excel in their academics. However, the disadvantages are being mentally drained and avoiding physical health.

The primary advantages are unlocking maximum potential, which contributes to exceling in their studies. Asian parents as well as teachers put sort of a strict deadline and fix high expectations on young individuals which can set a belief to never give up easily and accept failure.This creates a sense of a positive mindset which re-enforces the youth to work hard. For instance, the academic institutions in Asia glorify cracking hard exams like NEET, JEE, Gaokao, etc with exccesive hours of sitting at one place and studying for months.

However, the disadvantages are being mentally drained and not looking over their physical well-being, which can be quite harmful in the long run. Kids focus so much on doing well and not disappointing their elders (parents and professors) that they push themselves beyond their capabilities. This can result in Burnout, which can really attribute to the high stress levels among teenagers. Sometimes, childrens themselves happen to get so serious about their exams that they set unrealistic tasks, consequently, it creates way more unnecessary pressure on their minds. This in result raises cortisol levels, by which teenagers can experience severe anxiety or panic attacks.

In conclusion, telling young individuals to keep trying hard enough can have advantages like exceling in their domains and discovering their hidden potential. Moreover, the disadvantages are declining one's mental and physical health, it is somewhat a serious issue in this socities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to achievement. The benefits of developing potential and persistence are supported by the reference to demanding examinations, while the risks of burnout, anxiety, and neglecting physical health are also explained. This gives the response a clear, relevant foundation. However, some points are not fully developed: the exam example mainly describes intense study rather than showing how the message itself helps children, and the claim about discovering potential is repeated without a distinct explanation. A more balanced discussion could also clarify that effort does not guarantee success and explain how children might respond to setbacks when expectations are unrealistic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “However” helps readers follow the shift between the two sides, and the examples generally appear in the relevant paragraphs. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. To make the flow more consistently smooth, improve links between individual claims: the move from strict expectations to a positive mindset, for example, needs a clearer explanation. Some connections are mechanical or unclear, as in “This in result raises cortisol levels,” and the conclusion largely repeats earlier points rather than synthesising them. Use precise references and varied transitions to show how each example supports the main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “potential,” “failure,” “burnout,” “stress levels,” and “anxiety,” so the main ideas are understandable. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “unrealistic tasks” and “cortisol levels.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision: “excelling in their academics,” “fix high expectations,” and “avoiding physical health” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling and word-form errors such as “exccesive,” “excelling” written as “exceling,” and “childrens” also reduce control. Aim for natural combinations such as “excel academically,” “set high expectations,” and “neglect their physical health,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” “that,” and “consequently,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some sentence forms are controlled, such as “Kids focus so much on doing well … that they push themselves beyond their capabilities.” However, errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation recur. For example, “the disadvantages are being mentally drained” is an awkwardly formed clause, “Sometimes, childrens themselves happen” has an agreement and plural-form problem, and “failure.This” needs punctuation spacing. The final sentence also joins ideas with a comma in “Moreover, the disadvantages are declining…” and is difficult to parse. Practise building complete, clearly linked clauses and proofreading sentence boundaries.

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