Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

To encourage children that burning midnight oil can help them achieve anything in their life hasa plenty of advantages , while there are some school of thoughts that are of views that sometimes such confidence may make them anti social .

To begin with , psychology says , what you make children learn in their childhood , grow with them the entire life . So parents , now a days are fully aware of this concept and start training their children from their childhood .This trend has a myrid of advantages as with hard work students get positions in their class . Such students in turn get more enthusiasm to burn midnight oil to acheieve something greater in their lives . For instance in pakistan , combine competitive examination is often passed by such students . In addition , hard work can turn dream into reality , if some student dream to be a scientist or doctor , he start working hard from their childhood and finally get feather in their cap by achieving their longing desire . THe example of Einstein is worth mentioning here who introduce numerous concepts in physics , it was all owing to hard work .

Addmittedly , this message has also negative impacts on children . Some abnormal students can not do hard work , when they fail to compete with their fellows , they prefer to committ suicide . Moreover , some students become anti-social . For instance , when they do hard work but fail to achieve desired thing they prefer to adopt illegal way and become criminal .

In summation, thus this ,message has negative convocation but its advantages overshadows them .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and make your position clear in the conclusion: the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The benefits are supported with examples, including students gaining class positions and the reference to Einstein. However, some points are not fully explained or are too broad. For example, the claim that children who cannot compete may “prefer to committ suicide” is serious but is presented without explaining how the message leads to this outcome. The point about becoming antisocial or criminal is also asserted rather than developed. To strengthen the response, explain the link between high expectations, setbacks and children’s wellbeing, and clarify how effort can be encouraged without implying that success is guaranteed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “In addition” and “Moreover” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectations and shows some features of stronger progression. However, several links feel mechanical, and the opening sentence is difficult to follow, which weakens the transition into the argument. The conclusion’s “In summation, thus this” is also confusing and repeats the same function. Use fewer formulaic connectors and make relationships between claims explicit—for example, show how unrealistic expectations may affect a child after failure. Clearer referencing would also help readers track who “such students” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt some less common expressions, including “burning midnight oil,” “turn dream into reality” and “feather in their cap.” These choices show ambition, and the main ideas remain understandable. However, several expressions are inaccurate, awkward or too informal for this essay, such as “some school of thoughts,” “abnormal students” and “longing desire.” Spelling errors, including “acheieve,” “Admittedly” misspelled as “Addmittedly,” and “committ,” also reduce precision. Aim for natural academic collocations rather than idioms where they do not fit, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise terms for pressure, resilience and setbacks would help you explain the disadvantages with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if some student dream to be a scientist or doctor” and clauses beginning with “when.” This gives the response some variety, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in examples such as “what you make children learn … grow with them” and “he start working hard”; articles and plurals are also unreliable in “some student” and “a plenty of.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention, particularly in the long opening sentence and the final sentence, where “thus this” disrupts the structure. Practise building accurate complex sentences, checking subject–verb agreement, articles and clause boundaries before adding further complexity.

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