Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, elder people are often saying to their children that if they are trying hard to get anything, they can achieve whatever they want. It will be benefits for gettign their desire post and keep them motivated. While, some children get this speach as pressure.

It is very popular in some cultures that the advice from the higher rank of people that they can get anything if they are working hard. This can beneficials for the children to keep them focus, motivated and inspiration to achieve desire position. This is because, these speaches are making them active to maintain focus, stable discipline and consistancy without lossign hopes. Moreover, the speaches from the older people are very advantages for individuals to achieve their postions which they decide in their child era.

In contrast, some children get the advice to work hard to get anything, make them in pressure to obtain in short time. In the result, they lost everything to react over or sometimes lack of confidence and discipline because level of their matureness. In addition, children may develop some expectation. This lead to make themselves to get anything as working hard, but they forget the necessary skills. As the result, they are demotivated about the speaches and do not rely on speaches.

In conclusion, older people are telling their children to work hard to acquire their desire postion. the advantages are making themselves motivated and focus to get anything. However, there are severals drawback which make themselves in pressure to chop up their expectation and loss their potential on older people speaches.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: the first main paragraph explains that the message can encourage focus and persistence, while the next describes pressure, reduced confidence and unrealistic expectations. This gives the response a relevant, balanced basis. However, the ideas are often asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that children may “forget the necessary skills” is not clarified with an example or a clear link to the message, and the disadvantages paragraph does not fully explain how pressure affects a child over time. Your position is present, but the introduction and conclusion mostly repeat the topic rather than establishing a precise overall view. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or example and make your judgement more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “In contrast” helps signal the shift between the two sides, and the ideas within each paragraph generally relate to its main focus. However, progression is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are compressed together, particularly in the disadvantages paragraph. Phrases such as “In the result” and “As the result” are repetitive and do not always show the relationship between ideas accurately. References such as “these speeches” are also unclear, and the conclusion introduces “chop up their expectation” without a clear connection to the earlier discussion. Use more precise links and organise each paragraph around one developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “motivated,” “discipline,” “confidence” and “expectation,” and you use some variety rather than relying entirely on basic words. However, the range is limited and many word-choice, collocation and word-form errors make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “desire post,” “higher rank of people,” “get anything” and “chop up their expectation”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “consistancy,” “lossign” and “speaches” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for discussing ambition and pressure, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your ideas clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in the opening and clauses beginning “This is because” and “In addition.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement and articles frequently make the meaning harder to follow. For example, “This can beneficials for the children” lacks a correctly formed verb, while “some children get the advice … make them in pressure” has an unclear clause structure. The conclusion also shifts into an incomplete or poorly connected construction: “the advantages are making themselves motivated.” Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check verb forms and ensure each sentence has a clear subject and main verb.

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