Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a growing belief in some cultures that if children persevere more, they can be unstoppable and acquire anything they wanted. However, this kind of message may not only be beneficial but also have drawbacks.

The idea of doing their best and working hard in the mind of children will be carried throughout their lives. Working hard in school activities show dedication and commitment and ensures decent grades and good standing in school. They also become an inspiring and motivating individuals to their peers as they more likely to take leadership roles. This attitude when carried throughout adulthood will open doors of countless work prospects and promotion as employers love hard-working employee. On top of that, the mindset that one can do anything will help them go beyond their limits and more likely to try new things and take on roles with greater responsibilty.

Nevertheless, it also worth noting that this

kind of mindset of doing things very earnestly and will guarantee success is not quite realistic thought. Many individuals have been a really good worker, putting so much value in what they do yet they are not thriving as much as they wanted. For instance, farmers have been considered as the most hard-working group and they try their very best to plant and harvest crops every day but their effort are not totally reciprocated by the governement. In addition, too much optimism may damage ones self-esteem and may affect their mental health if they get to realize that giving their best does not always guarantee achieving what they wanted.

In conclusion, giving children this message should not just be one-sided. It is better that they understand at the same time that trying hard is good but it does not always ensure achieving all they wanted. This way, their disappointment will not be crushed as hard of not knowing it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear overall view: children should be encouraged to work hard, while also understanding that effort cannot guarantee every outcome. The benefits are relevant, including commitment at school, leadership, and future work opportunities; the discussion of farmers also illustrates how external factors can limit rewards. This meets the task well, and the examples show some development. However, several claims remain broad—for example, that hard work “ensures decent grades” or that employers “love hard-working employee”—and the mental-health disadvantage is introduced but not explored in much detail. To strengthen the response further, qualify generalisations and explain more fully how unrealistic expectations may affect children when they encounter setbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. The progression from school and career advantages to the risks of unrealistic expectations is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Nevertheless,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Some cohesion is less controlled, however. “They” in the second paragraph has an unclear reference, and the opening of the disadvantage paragraph is interrupted by “this / kind of mindset,” which weakens the flow. The conclusion repeats the central point but its final sentence is difficult to follow. Use clearer references and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports to make the progression more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The response uses an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “persevere,” “dedication,” “commitment,” “leadership roles,” “responsibility,” and “self-esteem.” These choices help communicate both the benefits and risks, and some less common expressions are attempted. There are also several inaccurate or unnatural collocations and word forms, such as “acquire anything they wanted,” “inspiring and motivating individuals,” and “their effort are not totally reciprocated.” Spelling errors such as “responsibilty” and “governement” also reduce precision. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they limit the naturalness and flexibility of the vocabulary. Aim for more idiomatic phrasing and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional phrasing (“if children persevere more”) and a contrast introduced by “Nevertheless.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “Working hard in school activities show” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “it also worth noting” is missing an auxiliary verb. The sentence beginning “Many individuals have been a really good worker” has problems with number and sentence construction, and the final phrase “as hard of not knowing it” is difficult to interpret. There is also a sentence fragment in “This way, their disappointment will not be crushed…” Work on agreement, complete sentence structure, and accurate clause construction while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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