Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

in some communities, kids are being encouraged by people to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard. this message can motivate students to pursue their goals and it may also create unrealistic expectatation. this eassy will discuss both merits and demerits of thid statement .

on the one hand, this statement has numorous benefits. firstly, it encourage to the student to do hard work and remain constant when they face any problem. instead of giving up after a faliure, the may try different methods to solve the problem and improve their mistakes and skills. for example a student who perform poorly in exams may study harder and achieve better result in next exams. secondly, this message can build self confidence and a positive attitude. children who believe in their abilities may be more willing to try new activities , learn new skill and challenges. these qualities can help them succeed in their academic nd professional lives

on the other hand

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies both a benefit and a possible drawback in the introduction, and the first body paragraph gives relevant advantages, including persistence after failure and greater confidence. The exam example helps illustrate how effort might improve results. However, the task asks for advantages and disadvantages, and the disadvantage is only mentioned as “unrealistic expectatation” before the response stops at “on the other hand.” There is no explanation or example of this drawback, so the task is addressed only partially and the ideas remain limited. The response is also 87 words below the required minimum. To improve, complete the disadvantages paragraph, explain how the message could create pressure or disappointment, and support that point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “on the one hand,” and a signal that a contrasting paragraph should follow. Sequencing within the advantages paragraph is generally understandable, with “firstly” and “secondly” marking separate points. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the response ends immediately after “on the other hand,” leaving the contrast undeveloped and the essay without a conclusion. Some links are also mechanical, and the long first body paragraph combines several ideas without a clear closing sentence. Develop both sides in separate, balanced paragraphs, use linking phrases to show cause and result, and finish with a brief conclusion that summarises the comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a relevant range of vocabulary for discussing motivation and education, including “pursue their goals,” “giving up,” “self confidence,” and “positive attitude.” These phrases communicate the main ideas, and “unrealistic expectations” signals an appropriate potential drawback. However, spelling errors and some imprecise or repetitive wording reduce control: examples include “numorous,” “faliure,” “thid,” and “improve their mistakes.” The last phrase is not a natural collocation; learners usually correct mistakes or improve their skills. There is also little vocabulary for explaining the disadvantage because that point is not developed. Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, such as “learn from mistakes” and “set realistic goals.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts both simple and more developed sentence forms. For example, “Instead of giving up after a failure, they may try different methods…” uses an introductory phrase and a modal construction, while the sentence about children believing in their abilities includes a relative clause. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries are frequent enough to affect accuracy. Examples include “it encourage to the student,” “a student who perform,” and “achieve better result”; the opening also begins with a lowercase letter, and the final sentence lacks a full stop. Review subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, and proofread punctuation. Building accurate sentences before adding complexity will make the ideas easier to follow.

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