Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is one ubiquitous message that is given by most people to children: that if they work hard, then they can achieve their dreams. I think that this type of message has both positive as well as negative effects on children's mental condition and that are discussed in the following paragraphs.

The first paragraph highlights the merits of this message. Firstly, this type of message encourage children to work with dedication and consistency for their dreams to be achieved. Having such encouragement helps them to be energized with fresh energy, put more effort to pursue their dreams even after a failure. As a result, it provides them happiness and satisfaction regarding the work they had done. For example, billionaires such as Elon Musk, work day and night to pursue the dream of building a driverless car. His dedication and encouragement from society motivate him to build a company like Tesla even after numerous failures.

On the other hand, there are several demerits for the same. Messages like work hard to achieve anything makes children to put themselves into a constant competition of proving to be the best from a young age. Therefore, this type of competition affects their mental state, and they may suffer from anxiety or depression. For instance, in countries like India, the majority of children were given the message of working hard and to build something so that they cannot suffer from any type of financial problem. By constantly hammering such type of statements makes children perform best and in that they deviate from their real goal.

To summarize, children should be revitalized by telling them the message of work hard, but it depends on how it affects their brain. They can bring to build something innovative or it affects their mental stability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and make your overall view clear: the message can motivate children, but may also harm their mental wellbeing. The first body paragraph explains dedication and persistence, while the second identifies pressure, competition, anxiety and depression, so the response remains relevant to the question. However, some ideas are developed more fully than others. The Elon Musk example is lengthy and does not clearly show how encouragement from society led to his success; the India example is also broad and its link to children losing sight of their goals needs clearer explanation. Develop each example directly around the message in the prompt, and explain that effort cannot guarantee every outcome, to make the discussion more balanced and fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding summary. Signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “To summarize” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectation for coherent organisation and shows some of the stronger control associated with a more flexible progression. However, several links feel mechanical, and some references are unclear. For example, “that are discussed in the following paragraphs” has an uncertain reference, while “By constantly hammering such type of statements” does not connect smoothly to the previous sentence. Use transitions that express the actual relationship between ideas, and make pronouns and references explicit. The conclusion also introduces an unclear contrast rather than neatly synthesising the two sides.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss motivation and wellbeing, including “dedication,” “consistency,” “anxiety,” “depression,” and “mental stability.” These choices help communicate the main points, and you attempt more specific expressions such as “constant competition.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, though, which limits precision: “energized with fresh energy” is repetitive, “demerits for the same” is awkward, and “deviate from their real goal” does not express the intended idea naturally. There are also phrases such as “build something innovative” that remain vague. Aim for natural collocations and precise wording—for example, describe children as feeling “under pressure” or “losing sight of their own goals”—and avoid repeating the same idea with near-synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional opening and sentences explaining cause and effect. The main meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur in agreement, verb patterns, articles and sentence construction. For example, “this type of message encourage” needs subject–verb agreement, and “makes children to put themselves” uses an incorrect verb pattern. The final sentence, “They can bring to build something innovative or it affects their mental stability,” is difficult to interpret because its clauses are not formed clearly. Review agreement and verb patterns, and check that each sentence has a clear subject and a complete, logically connected structure. More accurate control of these forms would make your ideas easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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