Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is oftenly observed that in many cultures children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard.It has different pros and cons.

Firstly, lets discuss some advantages of that statement.

In some cases it is very importanat to assure children that they will achieve what they try for and it is true in many cases as well. For example, in exams students gets marks according to their efforts and hard work.The more you work hard, the you have chnaces to be succeed.

On cantrary, if studetns have doubts that their efforts and hard work is not as worthy and everything depends on luck they wont bother to try.

secondly, hardwork makes a child more active.It helps to enhance cognitive abilities.If results sounds favourable it boosts confidence and self esteem. Hardwork makes a child to believe in himself, his own efforts, his passion and motivation.

Research shows that all successfull people were hardworker. Only intellengence and luck is not enough to achieve a certain goal. No matter which field, agriculture, education, industry or art, every success demands hardwork in right direction.

For example, Kapil Sharma, an Indian comedian.He belongs to a lower socioeconomic family. His father was hand to mouth. He did hardwork fo more than 10 years, after a lot of hard work and learning from his mistakes he succeeded to mahe his name on international media.

But when children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hardwork, it has some disadvantages as well.

The most important one is it effects them psychologically. They feel pressure and it effects their mental health. There are chances to get anxiety despite of positive results. Moreover it creats an unfair comparison.Every child has its own capacity and ability.Each child is unique and has different IQ level.So we should not expect the same results from every child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages, and its position is generally clear: effort can build achievement and confidence, but the message may also create pressure and unfair comparisons. Relevant support includes the exam example and the account of Kapil Sharma. However, several points are asserted rather than fully explained. The claim that successful people are hard workers is broad, and the example would be stronger if you explained how it demonstrates the benefits of encouraging children. The disadvantages are less developed: anxiety and differences in ability are mentioned, but their effects on children could be clarified. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a specific link to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has an identifiable overall structure, moving from advantages to disadvantages, and paragraph breaks help separate the main sections. Some linking expressions, such as “Firstly,” “On contrary,” and “Moreover,” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression within the advantages section is uneven: the discussion shifts from exam results to confidence, general claims about successful people, and then a biographical example without consistently showing how each point connects. Some transitions are mechanical or unclear, and the final disadvantage paragraph is brief compared with the earlier discussion. Group related ideas into focused paragraphs and use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example to make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “cognitive abilities,” “self esteem,” “motivation,” “socioeconomic,” and “mental health.” These terms help communicate ideas about development and pressure. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “hard work” and “achieve,” while several inaccurate word choices or spellings reduce precision, such as “oftenly,” “successfull,” “intellengence,” and “creats.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “make his name on international media” and “his father was hand to mouth.” Aim for more accurate collocations and vary repeated terms—for example, use “persevere,” “make progress,” or “attain a goal” where appropriate. Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your meaning more reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes simple sentences and some attempts at longer structures, such as “Although” is not used, but the sentence beginning “When children are often told…” introduces a contrast between benefits and drawbacks. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur in basic sentence patterns as well as longer sentences. Examples include “students gets marks,” “the more you work hard, the you have chances,” and “it effects them psychologically.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in “Kapil Sharma, an Indian comedian.He belongs…” and several missing spaces after full stops. Practise subject–verb agreement, complete comparative structures, and accurate clause construction. Vary sentence forms, but prioritise making each sentence grammatically complete and clearly punctuated.

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