Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, young people are often conveyed that they can attain anything if they try hard enough. By conveying these things children may develop a goal, work passionate towards goal. Besides this kids may not able to accept failures. In my opinion, till some point instructing is accepted beyound the limit may lead to destruction.

By guiding children to work with full potential will motivate them to work passionately towards a goal. Young people should try hard inorder to succed anything. Moreover working strongly towards a particular goal can attain easily. For example, Vaibhav surya vamshi a famous right-hand batsman started his practice at the age of six. Their parents made him focussed towards a particular goal. The result is history as he was the first person to score twelve centuries in T20 cricket matches. Furthermore one can easily succeded if they worked consisentently. As it is a key to sucess that was proved by many great people.

Likewise, there is also a drawback by conveying it repeatedly. Children who are uncapable to attain great things may go for depression. Continuous failure may tend them to depressed. One of my school friend kept his full efforts to secure job in Administrative services as it was their parents wish. After three long subsequent failures that made him to die.

Finally, Elders instructing children to work hard results in positively to shape their carrer and to attain goals. In contrast it might effect them badly if they cant take failure also resulted in death.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: encouragement can help children pursue goals, but excessive pressure may have harmful consequences. The cricket example supports the benefit, while the account of your school friend illustrates the risk of repeated failure. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the advantage is explained through persistence and achievement, whereas the disadvantage relies mainly on one severe personal example. The opening also mentions difficulty accepting failure, but this idea is not explored separately. To strengthen the response, explain more fully how the message can build confidence or resilience, and distinguish healthy encouragement from unrealistic pressure.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding summary. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” “Likewise,” and “In contrast” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, some connections feel mechanical or do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. For example, “As it is a key to sucess that was proved by many great people” is not smoothly attached to the preceding point, and “Finally” introduces a conclusion that repeats earlier claims rather than drawing them together precisely. Some references, including “these things” and “it,” are also unclear. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and make the conclusion state the balanced distinction established in the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “goal,” “full potential,” “continuous failure,” and “depression,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “Administrative services” and “right-hand batsman.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make sentences difficult to interpret: “work passionate,” “conveying these things,” “uncapable,” and “succeded” are examples. Several words are repeated, especially “goal,” “work,” and “failure,” which limits flexibility. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms. More precise phrasing would make your examples and arguments clearer without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if they cant take failure” and a relative clause in “which was their parents wish.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some sentence structures and verb forms are inaccurate. For example, “By guiding children to work with full potential will motivate them” has no clear grammatical subject, while “Children who are uncapable to attain great things may go for depression” has a faulty construction. There are also errors in agreement and tense, as in “one can easily succeded if they worked,” and punctuation and apostrophes need attention. Practise building complete clauses and keeping verb forms consistent; this will help you express your ideas more reliably.

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