Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People from some cutural backgrounds tell their kids that they can achieve their goals through hardwork. Although this encourages children to become more hard working and dedicated towards their goals, there could some posible drawbacks as well.

People who tell their children that hardwork is the key to achieve anything, often argue that if children grow up with that believe, they will learn to dream big, have a clearer vission about their goals and subsequently work towards achieving it. These children will naturally learn to be more dedicated, honest and true to their passion. Another advantage of making children believe in hardwork is that it will raise their confidence. They will know that they can achieve anything irrespective of their cultural, economical, social or religious background, which will additionally build self relience in them.

Despite these arguments, there could be some disadvantages of giving children this message. Firstly, sometimes hardwork is not just enough to achieve goals and one has to depend on destiny for certain things in life. If a child is not taught that even after doing our best we have to depend on the situations and surroundings to get the desired outcome we want, reality can hit him hard. For example, if a child who only believes in hardwork, gives his best a football match and his team still loses, he might get dissapointed and feel deperessed. Therefore, telling a kid only working hard can bring him everything, is not good for his mental health.

In conclusion, probably the primary advantage of making children believe in harwork is that it makes them confident, self dependent and focused. However, the disadvantage of this is that it makes children ill prepared for the future life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear overall position: the message can build confidence and dedication, but may leave children unprepared for setbacks. The examples about confidence across social backgrounds and a football team losing are relevant. However, some points are asserted more than explained. For instance, the claim that children become “honest and true to their passion” is not clearly linked to the message, and the disadvantage is mainly developed through one example. The discussion of relying on “destiny” also does not fully explain the broader issue: effort matters, but outcomes can depend on circumstances beyond a child’s control. Develop each point with clearer reasoning and a more balanced explanation of how children might interpret the message.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Despite these arguments” and “In conclusion” help readers understand the shift between sections. Ideas within the body paragraphs are generally ordered logically, moving from a claim to its explanation or example. Some linking is a little mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “hardwork” and the sequence “Firstly” and “For example.” The reference in “achieving it” is also not fully clear because it follows several possible goals. Use more varied transitions and make references explicit, while preserving the effective overall organisation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a relevant range of vocabulary, including “dedicated,” “self reliance,” “desired outcome,” and “ill prepared,” which helps express the main ideas. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the writing less polished: “cutural,” “vission,” “dissapointed,” and “deperessed” are misspelled, while “hardwork” is repeatedly used as one word. Some combinations are unnatural, such as “clearer vision about their goals” and “depend on destiny for certain things.” The vocabulary is adequate to discuss the topic, but precision and collocation are inconsistent. Check spelling carefully, use “hard work” as two words, and choose more natural phrases such as “a clear vision of their goals” and “outcomes depend on circumstances.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“Although this encourages…”) and conditional structures (“if children grow up…”). Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “there could some possible drawbacks” is missing “be,” and “if a child… gives his best a football match” needs a preposition and a more complete construction, such as “does his best in a football match.” The sentence beginning “If a child is not taught…” shifts from “a child” to “our best,” making the reference less consistent. There are also punctuation issues around commas, including after “hardwork” in the second paragraph. Review sentence completeness, prepositions within verb patterns, and consistent pronoun reference.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.