Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some societies, elders advice children that they can achieve anything by trying hard enough. It is a very motivational and inspiring message for children. However, this can also create unrealistic expectations and stress. In this essay, both the advantages and disadvantages of coveying such suggestion to the children will be discussed.

The message of working hard to achieve anything is significanlty motivating for most of the children. For example, there are children who are afraid of attending a task and always doubt their ability. The message that trying hard can lead them to their desire position boosts them up and helps trusting their potential and ability. When any kind of hard tasks appear, they do not lose their hope and keep trying hard believing that hard work will lead them to that desire place. Moreover, this inspires them to set high ambition.

On the other than, such message can be stressfull for some children too. For example, when a children work really hard but unable to achieve the desire thing, they started to doubt their ability. They starts to blame themselves and live with guilty. Whereas the result was not in his court due to other external factors such as luck, resource, etc. Such stress and self-guilt burns them out and triggers mental struggles.

To conclude, conveying the message of hard working to achieve anything has both advantages and disadvantages. It can be really helpful to inspire children to work towards their dream. On cntrary to that it can also create some unrealistic expectations that can lead to the mental struggles for the children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall position: the message can motivate children, but it may also create stress and unrealistic expectations. The two body paragraphs are relevant, with examples of children gaining confidence and, conversely, blaming themselves when effort does not bring the desired result. This covers the task well, and the explanation of self-blame and burnout adds useful detail. However, some points are less fully developed: the advantages paragraph repeats the idea of persistence and ambition without showing in detail how these benefits affect children over time. The disadvantage paragraph could also distinguish more clearly between personal effort and factors outside a child’s control. Extending these points with specific consequences would make the discussion more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each side, and a conclusion that restates the main contrast. The progression from motivation to possible stress is easy to follow, and examples generally appear in the relevant paragraph. You also use signposting such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “To conclude.” At times, however, the links feel mechanical or unclear. “On the other than” does not form a clear contrast, and “Whereas the result…” is left as a fragment rather than being smoothly connected to the preceding sentence. Some references, such as “that desire place,” are also difficult to follow. Use accurate transitions and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “unrealistic expectations,” “potential,” “ambition,” and “external factors.” These choices help communicate both the benefits and risks of the message. However, noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision: “coveying,” “significanlty,” and “stressfull” are misspelled, while “elders advice” and “desire position” are unnatural expressions. Repetition of “hard,” “message,” and “achieve” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and forms during proofreading. More precise expressions would make your ideas sound clearer and more natural without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “when a children work really hard but unable to achieve…” and a relative clause in “children who are afraid…”. The overall meaning is usually understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “a children work” should use a singular or plural form consistently, and “they started” shifts tense after the present-tense “when.” “They starts” also has incorrect subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “Whereas the result…” is incomplete, and “helps trusting” needs a different grammatical pattern. Practise building accurate complex sentences, then check each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb.

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