Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Globally, in some traditions people often insprired chidlren to be fearless and be confident in their life. While, at some extent that help them to build their own charactor. But at some point it is dangerious that cause harmfull events in their life and they may end up with some disorders or phobia.

The people push their kids to study or get higher grades in the class. That help child to build their own study capebility or self learning skills. Many parents inspired their childrens from their behaviours like respacting elders and be discipline or consistent in their life. On the other hand, parents pampering their kinds and never tought right things or never scolding them may increasing bulling nature of the kids.

Nowadays, childerns often heard insperational videos or clips from social media platform which increased dopamin to do achive their goals, but in the end it make addictive to them to watch videos. As a result, child study for few hours or working on their goals and take break to watch videos. Many kids wating action movies and try to stunt at home and got injury fro their whole life. I belive that the insperations helps childern to set their goals and they do hard work to achive that, but they must get proper guidence from their gardience. So, the parents must take responsebility and monitering their child outcomes.

In the conclusion, new generation keep geting motivations from their elders. It always help childrens to develop understanding at young age and there is some disadvantages. But, by monitering childrens life style and providing right guidence childrens achieve their goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the benefits and drawbacks of encouraging children to believe effort can lead to success. Benefits include developing study skills and setting goals, while drawbacks include risky imitation of movie stunts and excessive video-watching. However, the discussion only partly answers the precise question: several points concern general parenting, discipline, or social-media habits rather than the effects of this particular message. The claim that children may develop “disorders or phobia” is not explained, and the examples are not consistently linked to being told they can achieve anything through effort. Your conclusion gives a general view that guidance is needed, but the position on the message itself remains unclear. Focus each paragraph on a distinct advantage or disadvantage and explain the cause-and-effect link.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and it attempts to signal contrast and results through phrases such as “On the other hand” and “As a result.” These features give the reader some guidance. However, progression between ideas is not always clear: the second body paragraph moves from inspirational videos to addiction, then to stunt imitation, without showing how these examples connect to the central message. Some linking is also mechanical, and the opening uses “While” and “But” in a way that leaves the relationship between the ideas unclear. Organise the essay around one advantage and one disadvantage, use clear topic sentences, and make each example support the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self learning skills,” “inspirational videos,” “achieve their goals,” and “take responsibility.” However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to interpret, such as “insprired,” “capebility,” “bulling nature,” and “gardience.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “increased dopamin to do achive their goals” does not clearly express the intended idea, and “pampering their kinds” appears to mean children. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms such as “help” and “things” with precise expressions will also make your ideas clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, including “As a result, child study for few hours or working on their goals and take break to watch videos.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “While, at some extent that help them” is an incomplete construction, while “parents pampering their kinds … may increasing” has an incorrect verb pattern. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals and subject–verb agreement, as in “child study” and “it always help childrens.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and verb forms. Use punctuation to separate complete thoughts rather than joining fragments.

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