Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many traditions, children are usually adviced that they can achieve anything in the entire world if they work hard. This trend has both positive and negative consequences.

This issue has become increasingly important in recent years. Children usually get advice by their parents that they can get anything easily if they work hard for it. This sentence build the mindset of children. He/she work hard in school and achieve good grades. It develop the confidence of children so he/she preform well in education and other aspects of their life. The person must have better knowledge and practical skills if he/she work on this motto. The level of creativity also been developed. For instance, if a student work hard in his school and collage he will unlock many career opportunities in future.

On the other hand, there are several drawback of working hard. The children who work hard in wrong direction definitely get the false results. Working hard every time may increase health risks. This eventually lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental problems. Children also get bored, become stressfull and did not pay attention to their aim if they always work hard. If children work hard every time they do not manage their and loose their potenial. Children also less interact with social awareness which is benificial to become mature.

In my opinion, children should work hard but in limit. If they work hard and exceed their limit they may get false results. So it is very important to teach children to work hard in right direction and in limited way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear concluding view: children should work hard, but within limits and in the right direction. Relevant benefits include confidence, educational achievement and career opportunities; the risks include stress and mental-health problems. This covers the task, but some points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that hard work develops creativity is not supported with an explanation, and the disadvantages of losing potential or having less social interaction are difficult to interpret. To strengthen the response, explain how each consequence follows from the message and use a specific example or clearer reasoning, while distinguishing the message itself from excessive or misdirected effort.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal the shift, and the final paragraph returns to your position. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated openings such as “Children” and “If children work hard.” Some references are also unclear, particularly “This sentence” and “they do not manage their,” which makes the connection between ideas harder to follow. Group related consequences together and use clearer links between cause and result—for example, explain how excessive effort can lead to stress before introducing its effects on social life.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “confidence,” “career opportunities,” “health risks,” “depression” and “anxiety.” These choices help communicate both sides of the issue. However, several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems reduce precision, such as “false results,” “work hard in limit,” “social awareness” and “loose their potenial.” Some wording is also repetitive, especially repeated uses of “work hard.” Aim for more natural topic-specific phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully. For instance, describe effort as “excessive” or “misdirected,” and specify whether you mean social interaction, social skills or awareness of society.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including conditional sentences such as “if they work hard and exceed their limit” and a relative clause beginning “The children who work hard.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. Examples include “This sentence build,” “It develop,” “if a student work,” and “Children also less interact.” Pronoun choices also shift between “children,” “he/she” and “they,” affecting consistency. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and correctly inflected verb, and use plural pronouns consistently. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to read.

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