Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some nation's culture, kids are often advise to try hard, to acheive anything in their life. While this message is beneficial for childrens in terms of motivation and self confidenece, I firmly cencede that this can lead to stress and discourage them.

The primary benefit of this advice is to encourage them, to set their goals and planned to acheive it. Childrens can be able to start planning and work hard to get their objectives in future. They might work in consistent way after they listen the message from elder people such as parents and teachers. For instance, someone who is willing to achieve their goals like a prominent job or establishing his business all over the nation, can be motivated to work hard ny that advice. Additionally, parents can build self confidence of their children by encourage to try hard for the achievement of their aim. They work confidently in terms of studying in school. For example, recently my teachers advised me to study more for take admission in prominent university, this build my confidence.

Despite the advantages of this message can cause many serious issues on health like stress. Teenagers who are working hard to get their goals but if they cannot achieve them, it can lead to health problem such as stress and hypertention. For instance, my friend was worked hard to get more than 90 percent marks in their final metriculation exam. But he cannot achieve his goal, as a result he become patient of hypertention. Furthermore, this message can creates unrealistic expectations in children's mind. They become overwhelmed to work hard and hard to get their objectives. But they cannot face looser in their life.

In conclusion, childrens who are advised to

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question by discussing motivation and confidence as benefits, and stress and unrealistic expectations as disadvantages. Your position is apparent in the introduction, where you say the message is beneficial but can also cause harm. However, several points are asserted rather than fully explained: the link between encouragement and planning is not clearly developed, and the final disadvantage about children being unable to face failure is left vague. The conclusion is also incomplete (“In conclusion, childrens who are advised to”), so it does not summarise your overall view. Develop each main idea with a clear explanation and relevant example, then finish with a complete conclusion that directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and an attempted conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “Despite,” and “Furthermore” help signal the direction of ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from goal-setting to a personal example without a clear connection, while the second begins with an awkward contrast and then shifts to unrealistic expectations. Some references, such as “this message” and “they,” are not always precise. The unfinished conclusion also prevents the essay from closing coherently. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in sequence, and use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “motivation,” “self confidence,” “objectives,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “overwhelmed.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both outcomes and use some topic-specific language. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause, as in “acheive,” “cencede,” “hypertention,” and “looser.” Several phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “prominent job,” “work in consistent way,” and “patient of hypertention.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, “a prestigious job,” “work consistently,” and “develop hypertension” would express these ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction: “children are often advise,” “Childrens can be able,” and “this message can creates” are examples. The sentence beginning “Despite the advantages of this message can cause” is structurally incomplete, and “my friend was worked hard” combines verb forms incorrectly. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then extend them with subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms, and complete sentence structure.

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