Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

nowadays, children told that they can acheive anything in their lives if they try hard enough has become increasingly common,Although this way of raising children offers several advantages it also has some disadvantages.

on the one hand, on majour advantage of telling children that they can reach anything they want in their lives can lead them to build a very strong mindset and a solide self confidence, this is because kids are like a white paper waiting to be written, at their age they have no intertwined thoughts or principals and they can potentially turn anything they hear to a fact since they have no contrast opinions, by following this strategy the child will grow with selfe relience, the ability to stay consistence and the capacity to overcome challenges and obstacles in order to achieve what they have been told they can achieve if they try hard enough.

on the other hand, on significant disadvantage is that this way of raising can put a burden of pressure on the children at an early age and make them build a fake self confidence that doesnt match with their actuall potentials and actions, in a time where they should be enjoying their childhood under the shade of ignorace and the freedom of the no need of making a choice.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything in thire lives if they try hard enough has both advanteges and disadvantages, but it better to teach them this at a certain age because childhood is more for buliding the child character emotionally, starting with providing warmth and support from a loving parents and accepting failure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant overall view: the message may build confidence and persistence, but can also create pressure and unrealistic self-belief. The first body paragraph explains how encouragement might help children face challenges, while the second identifies a genuine risk. This meets the task well, but the advantages are developed more fully than the disadvantages. The claim that children have “no intertwined thoughts or principals” is unclear and does not convincingly support the point; the disadvantage paragraph would benefit from a specific explanation or example of how pressure affects a child. Your conclusion offers a position, but the recommendation to teach this “at a certain age” is not clearly explained. Develop that reasoning to make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “on the one hand,” “on the other hand,” and “in conclusion” makes the direction of the argument easy to follow. This is a coherent arrangement, though some connections feel mechanical and the progression within paragraphs is not always clear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from confidence to children being like “a white paper,” then to persistence, without clearly showing how each point connects. The phrase “in a time where” also leaves the relationship between the disadvantage and childhood somewhat unclear. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and make references such as “this strategy” and “this” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “self confidence,” “overcome challenges and obstacles,” “burden of pressure,” and “accepting failure.” These phrases help communicate relevant ideas, and some attempts at less common expression show ambition. However, inaccurate spelling and word choice are noticeable, including “acheive,” “solide,” “selfe relience,” and “ignorace.” Some expressions are also unnatural or unclear: “intertwined thoughts,” “contrast opinions,” and “under the shade of ignorace” do not convey your meaning precisely. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than elaborate phrases, and proofread spelling. More precise vocabulary for the effects of encouragement and pressure would make your argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction and longer explanations using “because” and “in order to.” However, control is limited, and errors in sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, and clause structure often make the reader work to understand the ideas. For example, the opening joins clauses with a comma and begins with an incomplete construction (“nowadays, children told…”). The first body paragraph is a long run-on sentence, while “on majour advantage” and “it better to teach them” show problems with articles and verb structure. The conclusion also contains an unclear final clause. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them with accurate subordinate clauses and check punctuation.

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