Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Giving motivation to the child about achieving anything after giving their best is the common way to push them towards their career and goal. I believe that there are some benefits and disadvantages of this, firstly this is the effective way to encourage a child, but there are some drawbacks this can lead a pressure to a child.

In the growing period of the youngster and children, they are learning new things such as they are studying, playing games and doing many other works. Although, their brain is in developing mode and this is the correct time to motivate them and tell them the benefits of doing hardwork. However, in this age they learn fast and their brain ability to thnk is supeior. For instance i saw a survey in a newspaper about that where parents told their children, if they want to achieve something they have to try hard and on the one hand there are other parents who did not tell this to their little one. The result of that survey is that 75% of the children who got motivation from their parents achieved big in their life rather than the other one.

Moreover, saying that words to the youngster can lead problems to their mental health, they think more on this and trapped under anxiety and depression. Also, in the age of playing and learning they are under pressure to acheive milestone in this early age.

To conclude this, motivate children towards any work is important and this can help them to learn basics, but pressurize about anything can cause problem to them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: motivation can encourage children, while excessive pressure may harm them. The discussion of encouragement is supported by the example of parents motivating children and the reported survey result. However, this benefit is explained more fully than the disadvantage, which is mainly linked to anxiety, depression, and pressure to reach milestones. The essay would be stronger if it explained how the message can create unrealistic expectations—for example, making children blame themselves when effort does not overcome limits such as illness or lack of opportunity—and distinguished encouragement from pressure. Your conclusion restates the main contrast, but could offer a more precise judgement about when this message is helpful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of discussion easy to follow. Some links between ideas are less clear or mechanical, however. The opening uses “firstly” without a corresponding “secondly,” and “Although” at the start of the second paragraph does not introduce a complete contrast. The survey example also takes several sentences to connect back to the main point. Use clearer topic sentences and link each example directly to the advantage or disadvantage it supports. More precise referencing would help too: phrases such as “the other one” leave the reader to infer whether you mean the other group of children or their parents.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivate,” “career,” “anxiety,” “depression,” and “pressure,” so the central ideas are generally clear. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “mental health” and “achieve milestones.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “push them towards their career and goal,” “brain is in developing mode,” and “achieved big.” Spelling errors such as “thnk,” “supeior,” “acheive,” and “pressurize” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable range by learning natural combinations such as “pursue their goals,” “developing brain,” and “achieve success,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced with “However” and a sentence beginning “Although.” The main meaning is usually understandable, but some sentence structures and grammatical patterns are inaccurate. For example, “there are some drawbacks this can lead a pressure to a child” needs a clearer clause structure, while “Although, their brain is in developing mode” is an incomplete dependent clause. Other examples include “motivate children towards any work is important,” where the subject and verb pattern do not agree, and “they think more on this,” which uses an incorrect preposition pattern. Practise building complete clauses and checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries; this will make your range of structures more controlled.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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