Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often taught to children in some cultures that if they work hard, they can get anything in their life. This development has both advantages and disadvantages.

One main benefit is that children will dream bigger, which is important to achieve something in life. To make that goal possible, they will study hard and concentrate on their concepts. For example, it is often taught to students in early classes in Pakistani culture that you can become a medical doctor if you get good grades in your college. That children prioritize study over family events, weddings, and cultural celebrations just to reach his goal. If that child passes medical entrance exam, he prouds himself that he achieved his aim of life by just studying hard.

However, it has also some disadvantages. The main one is that it affects the physical and mental health of a child. In early age, he just focuses on trying hard and ignores his health. He also spends his leisure time in the studies. For instance, if a student fails to achieve his aim of becoming a doctor despite working hard, his motivation and potential drops. As a result, he goes to stress, depression and anxiety which are not good for his well-being. Trying hard is sometimes not beneficial at the early age of children.

In conclusion, working hard has both benefits and drawbacks, and its overall impact depends on the nature of children who can handle it and type of a goal which they are aiming.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and maintain a clear overall focus on the effects of telling children that effort can lead to success. The benefit is illustrated through the example of a child aspiring to become a doctor, while the drawback is linked to health and the distress of not reaching that goal. These are relevant ideas, but some are less fully explained: the claim that children “dream bigger” could be connected more explicitly to confidence, persistence, or future opportunities, and the health argument would benefit from explaining how adults can prevent excessive pressure. The conclusion recognises that outcomes depend on the child and goal, but this point is not developed. More balanced explanation and support would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrastive transition “However” helps signal the shift between the two sides, and examples generally appear in the paragraph where they are relevant. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some progression. To make the links more flexible and precise, clarify references such as “That children,” which does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence, and “his goal,” whose referent is not fully clear. Some ideas also move abruptly from studying hard to family events and then to exam results. Use clearer sentence links and develop each point before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss ambition, education, and well-being, including “prioritize,” “entrance exam,” “motivation,” and “depression and anxiety.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and the response attempts some topic-specific language. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “get anything in their life,” “concentrate on their concepts,” and “he prouds himself.” Repetition of “hard,” “goal,” and “aim” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording—for example, describe children as pursuing an ambition or experiencing emotional distress. These improvements would strengthen clarity and range without changing the relevant ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if they work hard” and a subordinate clause beginning “if a student fails.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “That children prioritize study” is an incomplete sentence, “he prouds himself” has an incorrect verb form, and “his motivation and potential drops” has a subject–verb agreement error. There are also inconsistencies in pronouns and number, as the response shifts between “children,” “he,” and “that child.” Review sentence completeness, verb forms, and agreement, and keep references consistent. More accurate control of these patterns would make the complex ideas easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.