Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

i would like to talk about the children they are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, which is the truth.

The advantages of these children the messages is that the person want the children to be hardworking and openminded because if the kids are serious they can achieve greater height in every of their endeavors. That was said to them so that they can be focused,hardworking and to keep the zeal burning in them on the right path. They gave them these words of encouragement that no peer pressure can influenced children negatively, because if their age group have a bad influence on them, it can destroy their future and brings shame to their family, communities, school and their religious leaders.

i think these have disadvantages on the kids when their parents are comparing them to their age group that did well in his or her examinations, and their parents wasn't aware of what they did before they passed their examination. The children that their classmates involved in examination malpractices, reason why they passed. The next the children that was advised wrongly by their parents, we also want to involve in examination malpractices so that they can be praise and they will want to continue. And if it does, it will affect their future and the children will lose their confidence and believe. Because they will believe they can achieve anything on their own, some can even stop their education because of these.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and the advantage paragraph links encouragement with effort, focus and resisting negative peer influence. The disadvantage paragraph introduces a relevant concern about pressure to match classmates’ results and the risk of dishonest behaviour. However, the response is under the required 250 words: it contains 236 words, and 13 words copied from the prompt were not counted. More importantly, the discussion is only partially developed. The claim that children can “achieve greater height” is broad, while the examination-malpractice example is difficult to connect clearly to the message of trying hard. Explain more directly how unrealistic expectations can cause disappointment or reduced confidence, and support each side with a clear, developed example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an opening, a paragraph on advantages and one on disadvantages. This helps the reader identify the two sides of the question. However, progression within the paragraphs is often unclear, and several ideas are joined without showing their relationship. For example, the advantage paragraph moves from hard work to peer pressure, family shame and religious leaders, while the disadvantage paragraph shifts from parental comparison to examination cheating and then stopping education. Linking phrases such as “The next” do not clearly signal the next point, and references such as “these” and “it” can be hard to follow. Use one main idea per paragraph, order supporting details logically, and make each pronoun’s reference explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “peer pressure,” “future,” “confidence” and “examination malpractices.” These choices show an ability to discuss education and children’s behaviour, and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which reduces precision: “achieve greater height,” “keep the zeal burning,” and “in every of their endeavors” do not express the ideas naturally in this context. There are also repeated forms such as “children” and “achieve.” Aim for more precise collocations and vary key terms—for example, describe children as pursuing goals, maintaining motivation, or feeling pressure to meet expectations. Check word forms and spelling, including “open-minded.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if the kids are serious they can achieve…” and “if their age group have a bad influence on them…”. This shows some effort to express cause and consequence. However, the range remains limited, and errors are frequent enough to make several sentences difficult to process. Examples include “these children the messages is,” “the person want,” and “their parents wasn’t aware”; these contain problems with sentence construction, agreement and verb forms. The sentence beginning “The next the children…” is also incomplete, and some long sentences combine several clauses without clear punctuation. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and use full stops to separate distinct ideas.

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