Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children's are often listening to the elders when making an important decisions of life. Some of the parents motivate their children too much that they believe they can achieve anything. This essay will disscus advantages like good career opportunites and better knowledge with disadvantages like stress and not being enough.

On the one hand, some childern's often give positive results when the receive good motivation from others. When they listen to adivise like you can achieve good marks if you practice well they only think of their end goal which is a good result and they also get good marks in the exam. The motivation helps them to gain their full potential and because of their better knowlegde they can get better carrer options in the future.

On the other hand, sometimes the children's do not understand the advise and they often make mistakes in thier exams. They get scared to disappoint their parents and due to the stress they get bad scores in the exams. Some of them even harm their health trying to achieve the goals that they have set. For example, if the family elder child is the toper of the class the young child will always be in the stress to achieve the first spot in ever exam rather than thinking of scoring good marks.

To conclude, the children's gain better knowlegde and good career opportunities when, they are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough however some of them can even feel that they are not enough if they get bad scores which leads to stress also. The adivise should be given in a way that the chilren's do not feel the pressure and they should also calmly handle the situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant conclusion: the message may encourage achievement and future opportunities, but can also create stress and harm health. The examples about practising for exam results and pressure from a high-achieving older sibling help make the discussion concrete. However, the advantages are more clearly explained than the broader claim about gaining “better knowledge,” and the disadvantages could distinguish more fully between healthy ambition and unrealistic expectations. Your final advice that adults should avoid putting children under pressure is useful, but could be stated more directly as your overall judgement. The response therefore covers the task, though some ideas remain less developed or precise than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical, and the chain from motivation to “better knowledge” and then to career options needs clearer explanation. References such as “they” and “their” sometimes leave it uncertain whether you mean children generally or a particular child. The conclusion also repeats several points from the introduction rather than synthesising them. Use more precise referencing and connect each example explicitly to the main idea to make cohesion smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivation,” “full potential,” “disappoint,” “stress,” and “career options.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “good results,” “good marks,” and “achieve the goals.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “opportunites,” “knowlegde,” and “adivise,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the writing. Some phrases, such as “not being enough,” are understandable but imprecise for describing a child’s self-esteem. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for encouragement, pressure, expectations, and confidence, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if the family elder child is the toper of the class.” Most of the main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Children's are” and “the children's do not understand” use an incorrect plural form, while “when the receive” has an incorrect subject form. There are also problems with articles and agreement in “making an important decisions,” and the long sentence about the older sibling would be clearer if divided or carefully punctuated. To improve, check plural nouns, subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to practise complex structures with accurate clauses.

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