Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. this message is quite common among parents and teachers. although it has several advantages. it can also have some disadvantages. in my opinion, the benefits of this message are greater than its drawbacks.

On the one hand,this message has several advantages.telling children that they can achieve anything through work hard can have many positive effects. Firstly, it children to work hard and achieve their golas , when children believe in themselves, they become more confident and are willing to face challanges.for example, a student who want to become a doctor may study harder and perform better in the examination because of this encouragement. secondly, this message teaches children the i,portance of determination and patience.

On the other hand, this message also has some disadvantages, one major problems is that children may develop unrealistic expectation about life. they might believe that hard work is the only thing to become successful, wherease success can also depend on the opportunities financial conditions, and personal abilites,if they work hard but fail to achieve their golas,they may feel disappointed or lose confidence, they because some student famous in sports player but they do nt successful in the filed.

T conculde, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can encorage them to become confident motivated and determined. however,parents should also teach them that failure is a natural part of life and that success depends on the several factors.i believe this message is beneficial when it is given in a realistic and balanced way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: “the benefits of this message are greater than its drawbacks.” The positive points about confidence, effort, determination and patience are relevant, and the example of a student hoping to become a doctor helps illustrate the argument. You also recognise that success depends on factors beyond hard work and that failure can affect confidence. However, some ideas are less fully explained than others. The point about determination is only briefly stated, while the final example about sports is difficult to understand and does not clearly show how unrealistic expectations might harm a child. Develop each point with a clearer explanation or example, and make the conclusion’s balanced qualification more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between the two sides, and the main position is repeated at the end. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated sequencing words such as “Firstly” and “secondly,” and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the sentence about a student becoming a famous sports player does not connect clearly to the preceding point about disappointment. Several sentences also run together, making relationships between claims harder to follow. Use clearer sentence boundaries and connect examples directly to the point they support; vary linking methods rather than relying mainly on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “confident,” “determination,” “unrealistic expectation,” “opportunities” and “financial conditions.” These choices allow you to discuss both motivation and the limits of effort. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make meaning difficult to recover, as in “golas,” “challanges,” “abilites” and “wherease.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “through work hard” and “one major problems.” The sports example contains wording that is especially difficult to interpret. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases, such as “work hard,” “achieve their goals” and “unrealistic expectations.” More precise wording would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional example (“if they work hard but fail to achieve their goals”) and a relative clause (“a student who want to become a doctor”). The overall meaning is often recoverable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. Examples include the incomplete opening sequence “although it has several advantages. it can also…,” the missing subject in “Firstly, it children to work hard,” and agreement errors such as “one major problems” and “a student who want.” Several clauses are joined with commas rather than separated or linked correctly, particularly in the disadvantages paragraph. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, checking agreement, and using full stops and commas to show the intended relationships.

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