Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough.This message has both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, it can be helpful for childern but they should also understend that success depends on different factories.

On the one hand, this message has several advantages. Firstly, it encourges children to work hard and never give up easily. They become more confident and believe in their abilities. For example, student who want to become a doctor may study regularly and achieve good marks because of this motivation. Secondly, it teaches children the importances of determination patience. These qualities can help them achieve their goals in education and future careers.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages in the message. Sometimes, children may believe that hard work is the only factor in success. However, other things, such financial problem, lack of opportunties and personal circumstances can also affect their achievement. If children work hard, but fail to reach their goals they may feel disappointed or think that they are not good enough.

To conclude, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can increase their

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant overall view: the message can help children, but success also depends on other factors. The examples about a student aspiring to become a doctor and the effects of limited opportunities support your main points. However, the discussion is brief and several ideas are only stated rather than explained; for instance, the possible disappointment of children who fail is not explored further. The conclusion is incomplete, ending with “can increase their” and therefore does not clearly summarise your position. The response contains 179 words, which is 71 words below the 250-word minimum; 14 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each side with fuller explanation and complete the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and an attempted conclusion. “On the one hand,” “Firstly,” and “On the other hand” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression is limited because each paragraph contains only a few brief points, and the conclusion stops mid-sentence, leaving the essay without a completed ending. Some links between ideas could also be clearer: the sentence about determination and patience would benefit from explaining how these qualities lead to the goals mentioned. Use linking phrases to show cause and result, and ensure each paragraph develops one main idea before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “determination,” “personal circumstances,” “motivation,” and “opportunities.” These choices show some range beyond very basic language. However, spelling and word-form errors are noticeable, such as “childern,” “encourges,” “importances,” and “opportunties,” and some expressions are imprecise, including “different factories” and “financial problem.” These errors make the writing less clear and natural, although the overall meaning is generally understandable. Check spelling carefully and choose precise collocations, such as “various factors” and “financial difficulties.” Building a wider set of phrases for discussing achievement and barriers would also help you express ideas more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and some more complex forms, including “If children work hard, but fail to reach their goals they may feel disappointed” and a relative clause in “student who want to become a doctor.” The main ideas are usually understandable, but errors in sentence construction and punctuation remain. For example, “the importances of determination patience” lacks a clear grammatical link between the nouns, and the opening has no space after the full stop in “enough.This.” The final sentence is incomplete, which prevents the conclusion from forming a complete grammatical thought. Practise accurate articles, plurals, and clause punctuation, and proofread each sentence to ensure it is complete.

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