Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures around the world, children's upbringing starts from their home. Early age of kids is thr golden time of their lives because at this stage, their brain development and intelligence develop. So what we teach them at this stage, stays with them forever. some cultures, People start teaching children them jey feature to deal with problems such as doing hard work and putting their efforts can help them achieve anything in their lives.

There are multiple stories and folktales which are specially design for kid's understanding that teach them valuable lessons of how hard work can help them achieve their goals. It is an important practice that prepare children for their real life ahead of them. It help them to understand that behind every achievement there are some sacrifices that they have to make because hardwork requires discipline.

Although it is an beneficial approach for children to understand that working hard to achieving goals is necessary but it is also important to teach that hard work with clear goal is much important. Because the world we live in now, many successful people are those who set clear goals and work hard with intention. Moreover, they would might feel the hard work is in vain if there is no clear goal behind it and further disappoint them.

In conclusion, it is valuable lesson to teach children that working hard is important but hard work alone can leads to confusing results if there is no intentional goal behind hard work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the message by explaining that it can teach discipline and perseverance, while also warning that effort without a clear goal may lead to disappointment. Your position is clearest in the final two paragraphs, especially the point that hard work should be guided by intention. However, the disadvantages are only briefly discussed, and the essay does not fully explain when or why children might be harmed by being told they can achieve anything. The opening focuses on children’s development and stories rather than directly framing the advantages and disadvantages. Develop each side with a specific example and make the limits of the message clearer—for instance, that effort matters but outcomes can also depend on circumstances or realistic planning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph introducing a limitation, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of thought reasonably easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Although,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is sometimes weakened by unclear connections: the opening moves from brain development to teaching effort without a clear bridge, and “Moreover” introduces a consequence that is not fully explained. Some references, such as “it” in “It help them,” are not immediately precise. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect each explanation directly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “discipline,” “sacrifices,” “clear goals,” and “disappoint,” and these choices help communicate the central argument. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “valuable lessons” and “intentional goal.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “their jey feature,” “hard work with intention,” and “confusing results.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “thr” and “design” also reduce control. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe children as learning “key principles,” and say that effort without direction may produce “limited results” rather than confusing ones.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex structures, including a concessive clause beginning “Although” and a conditional idea about working without a clear goal. These attempts show some range, and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain noticeable. Examples include “It help them,” “hard work alone can leads,” and “it is an beneficial approach.” The sentence beginning “Because the world we live in now” is also a fragment, while “they would might feel” combines modal forms incorrectly. Practise checking each sentence for a complete main clause, subject–verb agreement, and one appropriate modal or verb form.

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