Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some societies, working hard is often associated with the winning everything because it is assumed that if children do more than their capacity, there are higher chances of obtaining anything. Although this approach has many benefits like it helps younger people to be motivated and positive in their life but it can also leads them to stress and affect their mental health.

When students are advised to work hard, they often become ambitious about achieving their goals. If something is difficult for them to obtain, motivation always helps them to make realise that nothing is impossible for them and through continuous efforts, they can win everything in their lives. Furthermore, it also brings positivity in their lives. Sometimes they think that they won't be able to achieve their goals such as particular grades and positions in the class but when they look on the hard work they have done , it makes them so much positive and relaxed.

Sometimes we work so hard to obtain some skills but eventually fail in achieving it. This is because some skills are talent dependent no matter how much we force ourselves to understand it, we wont be able to succeed. It often leads to stress. Stressed students feel that they did not perform best and that's why they failed. They feel negative about themselves and often their health is also get affected. It ultimately also bad for their mental health and they are not in a position to perform best again.

In conclusion, the idea of working hard can make students ambitious and positive about their their achievements but when students don't succeed they often feel stressed and their mental health is also affected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and maintain a clear overall view: the message can encourage ambition and positivity, but may also cause stress and harm mental health. The two body paragraphs are relevant, with examples such as striving for grades and feeling disappointed after failing to acquire a skill. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that certain skills are “talent dependent” is broad, and the essay does not clarify why effort may not be enough or how adults could communicate the message more realistically. The advantages are also developed more fully than the disadvantages. Explaining these ideas with more specific examples and nuance would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from motivation and positivity to stress is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Furthermore,” “Sometimes,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, several links feel mechanical, and repeated references to “students” and “their lives” make the flow less natural. The long opening sentence also combines the position and both effects awkwardly. Use clearer topic sentences and vary referencing, while ensuring each sentence develops the point before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “ambitious,” “continuous efforts,” “stressed,” and “mental health.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, for example “particular grades and positions in the class.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “associated with the winning everything,” “look on the hard work,” and “perform best” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Repetition of “positive,” “achieve,” and “hard work” also narrows the range. Build a more reliable set of collocations for effort, success, and disappointment, and check whether each phrase sounds natural in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although this approach has many benefits…” and a conditional idea beginning “when students don’t succeed.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences awkward. For example, “it can also leads” has incorrect verb agreement, while “their health is also get affected” uses an incorrect verb construction. The opening sentence is difficult to control because several clauses are joined together, and the conclusion repeats “their” in “their their achievements.” Aim for shorter, more controlled sentences when expressing several connected ideas, and check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and punctuation during revision.

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