Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In several cultures, Motivating children to do the hard work in order to achieve every goal of their life is highly debated nowadays. Pursuading children to the hard work have more advantage or disadvantage will be discussed in this essay.

Children start learning from the very beginning of their life. As a kid it is easy to teach them lessons that would be beneficial for them in future life. Gaurdians usually struggle in every aspect of life to provide support to minors and see them successful. When it comes to the children, they avice them teh importance of hard work. It is important for children as well to understand hopes of there parents or gaurdians. If children understand the message in advice, they really work hard and this habit concretes as they grow up. Their mind get trained with this mindset that every thing is possible with hard work.

On the other hand, there are might some disadvantages with adundance of such advices and may be sometime by pressure to the hard work. Often parents start forcing people to spend most time with work in which they want minor to be successful. This may lead to mental stress for children and especially, for students for instance, if parent want their kid to become a doctor and advices him to hard work in medical field, but the children dreams about becoming an athelete. Then this continous pressure and advices to do the hard work might result in mental torture for him. So, considering kids' with parent should advice them about hard work ratehr then puting pressure with their own field of interest.

In conclusion, giving message to do the hard work have have both advantage and disadvantage, It can lead to both success if children understand and may result in mental pressure if children is not pursue the career. But disadvantage are unlikely to outweigh the advanatge if advices conveyed thoughtfully. Gaurdians give best possible advice from their experience and it could be good for those who are unable to figure out their life goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: the message can encourage success when understood positively, but pressure can harm children. The example of a child pushed towards medicine despite wanting to be an athlete makes the disadvantage relevant and concrete. However, the advantages are less fully explained: you mention that hard work becomes a lasting habit and makes children believe goals are achievable, but do not show in detail how this benefits them in later life. The conclusion also introduces the idea that advice may help children who have not chosen a goal, which could be connected more clearly to your earlier points. Develop each side with a fuller explanation and keep the distinction clear between encouragement and pressure.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal the shift, and the example in the disadvantages paragraph follows logically from the point about parental pressure. This meets the lower-band expectation of an organised response and shows some features of stronger progression. However, links are occasionally mechanical or unclear, particularly in the opening, and the final sentence of the disadvantages paragraph is difficult to follow. Pronouns such as “they” and “him” sometimes leave the reference uncertain. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the main claim; revise the conclusion so it summarises rather than adds a loosely connected point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “mental stress,” “pressure,” “successful,” and “career,” and the medical-career example helps communicate your meaning. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “Pursuading,” “Gaurdians,” “concretes,” and “adundance”; phrases such as “advice them” and “hard work rate” are also not natural in context. Repetition of “hard work,” “children,” and “advice” further limits flexibility. Build a bank of accurate collocations, such as “encourage children to persevere” and “place pressure on a child,” and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “If children understand the message in advice…” and a longer example introduced by “for instance.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction can make meaning unclear. For example, “there are might some disadvantages” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “Their mind get trained” has agreement problems. The conclusion’s “if children is not pursue the career” also combines incompatible verb forms. Some punctuation and capitalisation choices disrupt sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them using conditionals and contrast clauses; check subject–verb agreement and verb forms in each sentence.

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