Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Children are at the lowest age that need guidance from the older adults in society.What we will guide them they will follow but sometimes it can be misguded by us and children can also misunderstand it.Children are not wise enough they can do everything properly.If we told them about something to achieve it can be beneficial but may also have some threats that i will discuss below.

Everything is possible to achive by the hard work.We can obtain everything by different possible ways but it depends on our strategies,planing and struggle.If we work hard and continue our effort we can reach the desirable thing.We told our children to do work hard to achive anything it can be better for them.Children can desire anything that may not be good for them.

If the children struggle for positive things it may be very beneficial for them.It can also be disadvantages for children because they will conflict for achieving something but somethings are out of achivement and they can be disappoint for them.If i talk about something extra children attention can also be divert from family and they will spend their most of the time in doing effort.In return when they wil achive nothing they will also disheart and will be fadup from people from which they take the message.

To conclude,we should achieve the things by every possible way.Things are the part of our life.If the children work hard and achieve the things it can generate a passion to do something more difficult to achieve any big thing.so, it can be advantages for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the potential benefit and drawback of telling children that effort can lead to achievement. The benefit is that hard work may help them reach goals and develop “a passion to do something more difficult”; the drawback is that some goals may be unattainable, leading to disappointment or taking time away from family. However, the discussion remains general and these points are not clearly tied to the specific message in the question. The opening also introduces guidance and children’s ability without establishing a clear position on whether this message is helpful overall. Develop each side with a concrete example and explain how the message can motivate children while also creating unrealistic expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, discussion of effort, disadvantages, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation, and phrases such as “If the children struggle for positive things” signal a shift in the discussion. However, the overall progression is not always clear: the second paragraph mainly explains hard work, while the next combines several drawbacks without a clear sequence. Linking phrases such as “but,” “also,” and “to conclude” are repeated or used mechanically, and some references are unclear, as in “something extra” and “they will also disheart.” Organise the body into distinct advantages and disadvantages, and use clearer transitions and references to connect each point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a relevant set of words for the topic, including “hard work,” “struggle,” “achieve,” “beneficial,” and “disappoint,” so the main ideas can generally be understood. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts difficult to follow. Examples include “misguded,” “achivement,” “planing,” and “fadup,” as well as the unnatural phrase “conflict for achieving something.” Repetition of “things,” “achieve,” and “children” also limits precision. Build a more varied set of expressions for goals, effort, motivation, and setbacks, and check spelling and natural word combinations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional ideas such as “If the children struggle for positive things it may be very beneficial for them.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “What we will guide them they will follow” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “they can be disappoint for them” has an incorrect construction. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent capitalisation. Practise building accurate sentences with “if” clauses and clear subject–verb patterns, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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