Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some cultures believe that children can earn everything by trying hard. Although it is undeniable that humans able to achieve anything with dedication, this beliefs some time lead to danger or violence.

On one hand, this cultural statement helps humans to increase the abilty of adaption which help them to survive and learn from difficulties. Our prehistoric people faced many challenges and tackled them at a time. For example, research proved that if any individuals face any challenge, over time they strat to adapt and find solutions. Therefore, 'nerver give up' and trying hard significantly important to solve problems. This beliefs similarly crucial for chidren because it force them to try hard wich encourage them to try difficult things. The major benefits of this mindset reflect in education. For instance, children learn how to solve problems even if these is challenging which is helping them to be hard worker in their distant future.

One the other hand, trying hard may lead us in danger. One of the major drawbacks of this mindset is influence to act violence. Looking at current scenerio many young gangs are growing in our society; they believe that they can do anything don't matter they are doing wrong or right. So, violence is increasing through this mindset amongst young generations. Furthermore, we face many unusual challenges by thinking about trying hard. Certainly we try to cross busy roads by thinking that may be we can easily pass but some time many unusual accidents happen for our simple and little mistakes.

In conclusion, with taking risk and hard work humans have achieved lots of things. Although trying hard encourage us to win difficulties,we should use this cultural statement in positive work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: the message can encourage children to tackle difficulties, but should be directed towards positive goals. The education example—children learning to solve challenging problems—supports the benefit, while the discussion of risk and violence attempts to cover drawbacks. However, some points are not fully explained or are only loosely connected to the message given to children. The prehistoric example is general, and the link between believing one can achieve anything and young gangs becoming violent needs clearer reasoning. Develop each point with a specific explanation of how the message affects children, and distinguish healthy persistence from ignoring limits or consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On one hand,” “One the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, the move from prehistoric people adapting to children’s education is not fully bridged, and the gang example does not clearly follow from the claim about trying hard. Some references, including “this mindset” and “this cultural statement,” could point to more precise ideas. Use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example, and vary transitions so the argument flows rather than relying mainly on formulaic markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “dedication,” “adapt,” “challenges,” “mindset,” and “drawbacks,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “distant future” and “unusual accidents.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less precise: “earn everything” does not naturally express achieving goals, “influence to act violence” is unclear, and “scenerio,” “abilty,” and “nerver” are misspelled. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for persistence, risk-taking, and consequences would help you express the contrast in your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although it is undeniable…” and a conditional example beginning “if any individuals face any challenge.” This shows some range, but errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms, and articles are frequent enough to make parts of the argument difficult to follow. For example, “Although it is undeniable that humans able to achieve” is missing a verb, while “this beliefs…lead” has a mismatch between the subject and verb. In “children learn how to solve problems even if these is challenging,” the pronoun and verb do not agree. Practise checking each sentence for a complete clause, consistent subject–verb agreement, and clear punctuation, especially in longer sentences.

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