Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In certain cultures, people advice to children that anything is achievable if they try hard enough. While it may motivate children to work hard and achieve their goals, it can also affect their mental health if they fail to succeed.

On the one hand, elder people always try to motivate children so that they work hard and achieve their goals. This is especially relevant when people share stories of historical figures who achieved their goal after repeated trial and error. After listening to those stories, children may realize success require consistency and perseverance. For instance, when i was a child, my mother told me the story of Nepolian Bonapart, I was so motivated after knowing his story of struggle and success. My inspiration for studying and achieving goals developed in this way.

On the other hand, sometimes excessive motivation may create pressure and affect children's mental health. This is particularly important for children who try hard but fail, because sometimes efforts alone do not ensure success. Other factors such as interest, intelligence and environment are equally important for gaining success. Children who try hard but fail because of other factors may feel stressed and frustrated. For instance, I used to try hard but fail in math because I was not interested in this subject in school. As a result, I used to be afraid of math and felt anxious during math exams.

In conclusion, although people may guide children for their own good and motive them to work hard and gain success, the guidance can be the reason of affecting children's mental wellbeing as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: the message can encourage effort, but may also harm children who do not succeed. The first body paragraph supports the benefit with the story of Napoleon and your own motivation; the second explains how failure can lead to stress and anxiety, supported by your experience with mathematics. These examples make the discussion relevant and persuasive. To strengthen the response further, develop some claims with more precise explanation: for example, clarify how interest, ability, and environment can limit the results of effort, and distinguish encouraging persistence from promising that effort guarantees success. This would make the discussion more fully developed and less generalised.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, effective structure: an introduction presents both sides, the body paragraphs each develop one side, and the conclusion returns to the central contrast. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow. Examples are placed in the relevant paragraphs and generally support the point being made. Some links between ideas are a little mechanical, however, and the conclusion largely repeats the introduction rather than drawing the discussion together. You could improve flow by using more varied transitions and clearer links between claims and examples—for instance, explicitly explaining how your maths experience illustrates the limits of effort alone.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss motivation and its consequences, including “consistency,” “perseverance,” “excessive motivation,” and “mental health.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the reader can understand the examples. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “people advice to children,” “gain success,” and “the reason of affecting.” There are also spelling and form issues, including “Nepolian” and “motive” where “motivate” is intended. Aim for more precise, natural academic phrasing and check spelling and word forms carefully; this would make your vocabulary more flexible and accurate without changing the substance of your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “although people may guide children…” and “because sometimes efforts alone do not ensure success.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the paragraph structure helps the reader follow the argument. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “success require consistency” needs subject–verb agreement, while “I was so motivated after knowing his story” has an awkward tense construction; “children who try hard but fail” is also repeated in a way that could be reshaped into a more varied clause. Capitalisation and punctuation need attention, particularly the lowercase “i” and inconsistent spacing around commas. Greater accuracy in these areas would build on the range already shown.

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